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Do You think Relationships Only Count after the 6 Month Mark? Jill Scott Shares Her Dating Rules

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There are many ways people determine if they are in a good relationship or not.

For some it’s when they meet the parents or when they move in together; for others it’s the level of commitment they express or when they reach a certain stage.

For Neo Soul singer Jill Scott, its when it hits the 6-month mark.

Jill Scott - BellNaija - January2015_001

In a chat with ABC News Radio on the new Lifetime movie “With this Ring” she stars in with Regina Hall and others, Jill talks about her love life.

She said; “The movie made us all think about what we’re doing. For Regina and I, the two single girls, we really thought about what it is we wantI’m older now so I see a little bit better than I did before. My longest relationships now are about nine months. Actually, now it’s grown to six months. There’s no need for me to waste my time or anybody else’s. I know by then. If you make it over the six month hump, you have done something. I must really like you.

***

So what do you think BellaNaijarians?

Is a 6-month mark the best time to determine if your relationship is solid?

Photo Credit: Getty Images/Dimitrios Kambouris

27 Comments

  1. i no send

    January 24, 2015 at 8:02 pm

    it depends on the age category you are in…..the younger you are the more time you can give to determine the direction… but late 20s and beyond……

    • cleo

      January 25, 2015 at 6:25 pm

      You are right

  2. HAWT TALK WITH TOSAN

    January 24, 2015 at 8:42 pm

    When you are over 40, 3 months is enough! You know who you are and what you want. The younger people can stick it out longer because they are just discovering themselves.

  3. Busola

    January 24, 2015 at 8:53 pm

    If you are in your 30s,then 6 months is ok.I am in my late 30s and I told the guy I am seeing that in 6months we should know where the relationship is headed and he thought that’s too soon.I don’t have time to waste and I don’t want anybody to waste my time either.He has kids from previous relationship so I don’t blame him but I think he is being selfish.

    • Abike

      January 24, 2015 at 9:52 pm

      Darling never rush a man, or else he will play with your desperation and someone will get hurt.

  4. iyke

    January 24, 2015 at 10:27 pm

    Oh Jill Scott……My perfect coral ….. my eternal crush ….. a woman that a MAN NEEDS! On that day, it will be a slow orgasm, coffee and a hint of whiskey ….together, we will watch every sunset until the sunset of our lives!
    #nneiditoomuch
    Ok, enough of my day dreaming …….
    Just pondering on the topic objectively…..Folks, what, exactly, is different in a relationship after one ‘officially’ proposes??? Why can’t two consenting adults just BE together without either one, or both, feeling as if they are obligated to make a promise of being together forever?
    Apart from the so called phantasm of safety, what does it provide really?
    Honestly, sometimes I shake my head and feel sorry for the dude who feels as if he has to purchase a ring to get to “the next level”. Ok, you finally put the ring on the finger after six months/one year of dating and realize that there is no next level and you just wasted precious time waiting to achieve a shallow, historically-dubious, monetary-driven, socially-constructed status, instead of making the most out of your relationship….hmmmm
    Anyways,per time frame, personally, I wouldn’t come close to you in the first place if I’m convinced that you are a woman that needs a MAN. But if you are a woman that a MAN NEEDS, HE doesn’t waste time to let you know where he is going with you!

  5. Miss Adeyemi

    January 24, 2015 at 10:30 pm

    I don’t think it takes even 6 months to know if the relationship/courtship is worth pursuing.Most ladies, we know from day one in our hearts of hearts that he is not for you but ooh weeeell….maybe he will change, maybe am too strict, maybe my standards r too high, maybe im wrong etc
    now that am clocking 30, i have zerooooooooo patience, and zero energy to invest in a man who is not meant for me!!!!….KEEP IT MOVING, THERES NOTHING TO SEE HERE!!

  6. Disguised

    January 25, 2015 at 1:17 am

    In your 30s, 3 to 6 months is more than enough. Any guy aged 35 and above should know better.

  7. Anonymous

    January 25, 2015 at 1:27 am

    Relationships are so overrated! I’ve just beeb heartbroken by one I put my all into. I really thought it’d work out. He obviously took me for granted. He just stopped talking to me all of a sudden despite my calls and messages. Not like we even argued. Sigh. His mum is there assuring me that all is well….

    I’m so scarred, hurt. Almost feels like i’m going crazy. I wish we could see through hearts so we know who’s for us and who isn’t. It is well. I wish him well.

    Almost 2 years of dating!

    • Carliforniabawlar

      January 25, 2015 at 11:52 am

      Pele dear!! i swear i wish we could see into hearts or the future so we can conserve energy. Abeg no listen to any mother o….start the healing process asap.

      sending hugs your way!!

    • Rose

      January 25, 2015 at 12:44 pm

      Sorry dear. Sorry.

  8. Been There Done That!

    January 25, 2015 at 1:31 am

    When a guy is serious – he knows what he wants and goes for it. He shows it through his actions or words depending on his mannerisms. Babe no waste una time OOO!! Pack and go if you need to. You see I am married and Have Been There and Done That!

  9. AintNobodyGotTime

    January 25, 2015 at 1:42 am

    It is good to know what you want from a partner and a relationship; deal-breakers and all.
    I am in my 20’s but I do not need anyone wasting my time – 3 months is my limit.
    I would rather be single than be in a struggle/by-force relationship. At least when you are single, you have peace of mind that no one is using you or cheating on you. A relationship is not worth having if it is not going to be amazing. Sometimes, you come out more damaged than how you went in.

  10. C'est Moi

    January 25, 2015 at 5:49 am

    I’m in my late 20s and I asked Le Boo almost immediately, say Boss, wetin you dey find? Bros has a long list of babes that he can follow o, so if na to chop, clean mouth, biko go after the hotter and more willing babes. No time, energy or emotions to waste. There are pros and cons to asking sha, as Abike put it, the guy can confuse direction for desperation. In the end sha, God’s wisdom is required.

  11. Istidele

    January 25, 2015 at 9:27 am

    If he hasn’t proposed before 6 months, you are likely on a long thing.

    • MC

      January 25, 2015 at 2:29 pm

      Huh!?
      People expect/hope for proposals before 6months????

  12. Friday's other child

    January 25, 2015 at 12:20 pm

    Depending on which stage in your lives you meet each other, 6 months is way too long! My fiancé and I met and were engaged in just over five months. It could have been much sooner, because we knew as soon as started dating that we’d finally found the person we were both looking for. Contrast to other situations were I was just wasting my time and ignoring my intuition because I knew deep down it just wasn’t right and wasn’t really go ‘anywhere’. Now I know it’s true, when a man really loves you and wants to be with you, there’s no way you won’t know and you certainly won’t have to wait for months to find out. Just keep it moving ladies if you know its not the real deal, in the past I could have avoided much heartache by listening to that advice myself.

  13. Erefa

    January 25, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    There is absolutely no time to waste. From the first month we ladies know if a relationship has a future. If not drop it & get along with life. At this stage no tolerance or management. When letting a guy go he need not know its because he’s wasting precious time lest he confuse it desperation. Just let him go. If he’s serious, he’ll come back stronger,more determined & focused

  14. PurpleiciousBabe

    January 26, 2015 at 1:43 am

    but JILL SCOTT looks so good in this pic…
    SEXY….
    Loves her music too.

  15. Gezani

    January 26, 2015 at 9:05 am

    Relationships have become more complicated. I believe we need to pray when you meet someone. Let God lead you and if he is just coming to break your heart let God remove him. Our hearts have so much holes more than the liver eaten away by cancer. Lets us seek God grace and wisdom and He will protect us from unnecessary heart ache.

  16. buqui

    January 26, 2015 at 9:59 am

    sincerely when you are in the right relationship you will know and vice-versa. i met my husband in February, got engaged in May and married in December. unlike the other guy i dated for six years and nothing to show for it……follow your heart the truth lies there.

  17. sum1special

    January 26, 2015 at 10:44 am

    ^months is too much…The moment you meet and start getting to know eachother, you all should know where it is heading.

  18. Alem

    January 26, 2015 at 1:26 pm

    Except you are dating a fellow student be it in high school or Uni, you should know where you are headed in six months. It took my hubby less than four months to clearly inform me that he wanted a serious relationship and by eight months we already had our trad. Last serious relationship was over 2 years and the a..hole got another girl pregnant, married her and did not have the decency to tell me.

  19. Jennie

    January 27, 2015 at 11:45 am

    6 months is the mark for me. I feel like you should have known already what you want to see or hear from a man within 6 months. If you are old enough and have been through other relationships and marriage is on your mind, you know the right questions to ask and the right things to look out for. Long dating is overrated. I think it does not help as much people think it does because for some at the end of a year or two, you start to pick up the person’s bad side and start forcing it to outweigh the good so you can jump out and find someone “better”. I know a couple that dated 7 years 3 years after marriage the wife was in tears almost everyday. Anyway, they are done now.

  20. Busola

    January 28, 2015 at 12:16 am

    6 months is the mark for me. I don’t even consider a guy i dated for less than 6months my ex. My Dad once told me that it doesn’t take months or years for a guy to know who he wants to be with for the rest of his life. If he doesn’t know in 6 months, pls move on.

  21. Kefase

    February 6, 2015 at 2:28 pm

    I don’t think we should put a time limit. Once you rrealize that the person you are dating isn’t right for you, then it’s time to end it. Whether you’ve been dating for 6 days, 6 months or 6 years.

  22. Olaolu

    July 24, 2015 at 11:06 pm

    Depends too on certain circumstances that abound.

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