Connect with us

Relationships

Uti Nwachukwu Writes: I Must Marry or Else!

BellaNaija.com

Published

 on

Uti-Nwachukwu-600x600Nigerian model, actor and TV personality Uti Nwachukwu has written a new piece exclusively for BN.

In his new post he talks about the pressures of marriage and how times have changed – but Nigerian’s have not necessarily changed with it.

He wrote:

Why you never marry Na?
Hmmmm how old is she? Why isn’t she married??
This one he is still single. Maybe he traded his marriage for wealth via JuJu
They say She was very promiscuous in her young days o! And see her she is married!! Where is my own LORRRRRD!!!! WHY ME??!!!

Abeg!
WAKE UP NIGERIANS!
My word!
I think Nigerians are the hardest to convince that times have changed!
Which is why we are finding it hard to fully develop as a country? #FACT!
The amount of importance and relevance attached to marriage in this side of the world is the main reason for DEPRESSION, FAILURE, UNFULFILLED LIVES, PRETENSE AND UNREPORTED SUICIDE! And I’m not talking about the single folks here!

Don’t get me wrong I am not anti-marriage! I am very Pro Marriage – for the right reasons!
It’s crazy shocking and alarming that till now people still succumb to pressure and just marry the next person they date!
Wooooow!
In my opinion it is better to die single than to marry and be stuck with the wrong person! Cos that itself is early death!

First of all parents need to chill!
You have lived your lives, produced and raised good children… If you did a good job at it, you should trust your kids enough to make the right adult decisions at the right time! Stop the pressure!! Some of you have forced your kids into abusive relationships just so that you can save face and Brag that ahh all my children are married ooo! So continue bragging when you have to go and fetch their bodies from a Hospital or even worse a mortuary!! Yep it’s been happening in this country. Husbands beating their wives to death…wives stabbing or shooting their husbands.
Thank God for the kind of parents and Family I have o.

Then society needs to shut the hell up!
MIND YOUR DARN BUSINESS AND FOCUS ON YOUR OWN LIVES!
The truth is…people that are happily married and busy raising a family have absolutely no time to bother about who is single, why they are single, who is married and staying married.
Most embarrassingly a married person getting involved in gossip about singles. Kai!!! Signs of a failing/unhappy marriage include- serious levels of Aproko! Hahaha

On a more serious note my opinion is this…expecting everyone to get and stay married is like expecting everyone to be Rich and famous!  IT WONT HAPPEN!
The earlier we accept the better for us!
Most people do not listen to their spirits and or seek God deeply. They just fling themselves into unions just so they can be ‘MARRIED’.
Times have changed!
People are not staying married! Men are getting more and more irresponsible, women are getting more successful and intolerant of men’s childish behaviors and oh they are also bold enough to explore extra-marital affairs now.

It’s crazy how me, a bachelor, would go out to a club and at 2/3am I’m tired and I want to go home and the married dudes are saying…where u de go Na???? Party never finish!!
*straight face**
REALLY???!! Who is cuddling your wife at this ungodly hour? Why is she sleeping alone for Goodness sake!
Even worse is when a married person says…Uti introduce me to one small fine girl Na .i de de lonely sometimes ….
OH WOW!!!
Very irresponsible but HEAVY STATEMENT.
Married and Lonely?? Hmmmmm
Let’s not forget that thanks to social media some equally lonely and bored housewives are snagging young fit men daily!!!! I mean the rate is alarming!
In some marriages the husbands are constantly cheating as well as the wives??!
So wait, why marry?!!!! Why??

And trust religious Fanatics to say God said a man shall leave his house and find a wife…etc. etc.
Really. DID God say a man MUST Marry?!
Is there a commandment that says THALL SHALT MARRY!
Yes Jesus said if you cannot hold yourself from fornicating then marry! But ALAS THERE is a commandment that clearly states: THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY!!!
So let’s not always pull out scriptures to support our bias.
If we do that one we go bible mortal combat. Lol
I dare say this!!…NOT EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO MARRY!!!!!

I don’t think people know what marriage vows are o!!! People are really take God for granted!!!!
Let’s analyze it:

FORSAKING ALL OTHERS .
TO BE FAITHFUL LOYAL and HONEST.
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD (Meaning no more bikini babes. No more 6pack boys…no more random hookups! NO LIES!!!!You shall touch and sleep with only one person for the rest of your LIFE!  Hmm is okay. Lol)
IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH!! (No matter how sick your spouse gets. Even if worms are coming out of their body and they smell bad! You have to be there for them!!!!)
FOR BETTER OR WORSE! (No matter how bad things get! Even if Una quarrel and burn down the house! You stay!!)
FOR RICHER OR POORER!!! ( hehehe I won’t even touch this before some babes will say I’m swearing for them to marry a poor man…lol…but if he does get poor you stay)
And the one that freaks me out…. TILL DEATH DO US PART! ( meaning that the only thing that should separate you people is death!)

And you take this Vows / covenant before JEHOVAH ???
Well as for me I fear God too too much!!! We take Gods mercies for granted. Trust me if it was to swear JUJU most Nigerians will be too afraid to make these vows!!! But let me warn you. It’s worse to break a vow made before God o!!!! You are basically saying God deal with us if we don’t do this.
I watched my mother fulfill her Vows till my father died and I’m sure most us also watched and are still watching our parents fulfill their vows!

But what’s happening to us in this generation?

Please please please stop getting married because:
You are getting too old – We have a lot of 12 year olds walking around in the bodies of 30year olds! Maturity isn’t by age! It’s by the spirit! A lot of people are not spiritually mature enough!
You want to have kids! – My people if you can’t find someone and you want a child and you feel biological clock dey tick, either you adopt or do IVF/surrogacy!
Your Friends are married! – Lol. This is a big laugh … A lot of them are not HAPPY! But they will put on a show to make u feel they have one over you!
You want to cover up your sexuality – Society has pushed people into hiding so marriage is now a way to prove straightness. ..But that’s another article on the way
Money – You can have the whole world and still feel empty!
Your Pastor said… – Lol Is okay. I hope your pastor will repair and stay with both of you
Pressure from family and society – Na you go stay inside the marriage and wade the deep waters…Nobody will come and help you through the turbulent times! Marriage isn’t a bed of roses. It’s constant Hard work!

For me MARRIAGE like education is an INSTITUTION and not an OBLIGATION!

And life has shown us that neither has necessarily berthed success! Not all rich people are educated and vice versa.
Yes you need to be married to get certain appointments and positions etc. well if that’s the value you place on it. Then good luck to you. Everyman with him own. But leave others out of it!

In conclusion: Marriage to me should be a step taken when you meet someone and you just feel inside that this person understands you! They complete you! They get you! They calm your emotional storms! They lead you forward spiritually! When you combine to do anything, it’s always easier and mostly successful! That even when you fight, you can’t go for long without talking! Someone that’s patient with you! Someone that doesn’t need anything materialistic from you to make them happy! You know you are ready when no matter how many hotties u see, even though you look and applaud, the thought of your spouse makes them look plain and unexciting! Someone that makes you want to rush home every day after work! Someone you can just sit and talk about ANYTHING WITH. Someone you can gossip and laugh constantly with! Someone who inadvertently brings out all your good sides!

A TEAM MATE! A CONFIDANT! A COMRADE! A SOLDIER & FINALLY SOMEONE WHO FEELS LIKE THE HOLY SPIRITS VERSION OF A PARTNER.

I personally would not walk down the aisle until I court someone who makes me feel this way.

The favour attached to marriage is immeasurable – HE WHO FINDS A WIFE FINDS A GOOD THING! GOD ALWAYS BLESSES AND FAVORS MARRIAGES!

Shout out to all the unpretentious married people brave enough to fulfill their vows and are living out their marital dreams. It isn’t easy and I applaud you. God has blessed you

I’m not married, I’ve never been so I am not speaking from experience. Plus I’m not saying my opinions must be accepted.

I’m talking from a reasonable open minded point of view of a man who interacts with people on a daily basis. So this is just my take on the issue, with regards to singles.

May God above reveal to us who He has chosen to spend the rest of our lives with and may He shower the unions with Love peace health wealth loyalty and happiness.

Amen/Amin

And remember …It always Begins with a Choice.

231 Comments

  1. spoonfullofsugar

    June 11, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    OK. Lemme go and boil rice while waiting for comments

    • nan

      June 11, 2015 at 10:30 pm

      Make I join u dey boil rice while I wait 2.

    • iReadYou

      June 12, 2015 at 1:25 am

      Lol rice @boilers…..#UtiRants : Quite spot on but can’t help but think there is more to it as it concerns him personally, deep rooted ish and the society he finds himself.

    • engee

      June 12, 2015 at 8:55 am

      D truth is this is a male talking male hv all d time but women dnt so uti is say “hey women go get pregnant if u feel u hv come of age” hmm! If God is not against dat den im not

  2. charity chinenye

    June 11, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    Uti go and marry .You have come of age.Period.

    • polypoly

      June 11, 2015 at 8:18 pm

      and ur name is Charity…hisss. oughta be named Shame….tufia!!

      I don’t understand wat “U are of age” means. like wtf, is marriage a goal that others should decide for someone???

    • doosh

      June 11, 2015 at 8:37 pm

      See ur mouth!! Give him wife noww

    • Californiabawlar

      June 11, 2015 at 8:41 pm

      Your face is rude.

      No double standards….you know how hard folks would have come for your behind if this had been direct at Rita Dominic or Genevieve? mssschew.

    • Busarni

      June 11, 2015 at 8:49 pm

      Infant charity; oya clap for yourself.

    • keeks

      June 11, 2015 at 8:56 pm

      You are just proving what he said. What is being of age? Marry when YOU are ready. I will not be succumbed into marrying now to save face then be miserable. Period!

    • emmanuella

      June 11, 2015 at 9:18 pm

      charity do u read very well if so den u should understand uti’s write up before u crucify him. i believe you are not married but u poke nose into a his affair or are u tinking of joining the sisters at d convent and if u are married mind ur business before u poke nose into someone’s life like aproko.

    • Debbie

      June 11, 2015 at 9:34 pm

      NNE, Uti has a clear vision of where he is headed, he is very on the right road… no hurry hurry for marriage… marriage is more serious than the pressures to be in one

    • ella

      June 11, 2015 at 10:28 pm

      Seems u dint read what he said. Marriage is not by how old you are getting. It’s one being ready to settle down and finding that person you are ready to take a walk with in life forever.

    • Bolu

      June 12, 2015 at 1:02 am

      I know u mean well but marriage has nothing to do with “settling down”. This is another societies term that is used quite often. Married is a continued journey in life.

    • Cathy

      June 11, 2015 at 10:59 pm

      wow..you just completely missed all he just said, its comments like this he was referring to

    • Tosin

      June 12, 2015 at 3:31 am

      he can marry me. for a while. fine boy.

    • Dolapo

      June 12, 2015 at 6:51 am

      people sha!!!!! Is there “an age” to marry? Wetin concern you with his own now, it’s his life. besides when did marriage become “a must do?” I wholeheartedly support him. why go into a marriage if you ain’t ready for it?It’s better to be single than have a troubled marriage, one that would cause you to sin against God or one that doesn’t support/help the purpose for which you were created. and like he rightly said, if na because of pikin you wan marry,there are so many ways to become a parent without marriage. Nigerians!! you people would never cease to stigmatize people because of some “outdated thoughts.”

    • queenb

      June 12, 2015 at 6:52 am

      U’re one of the problems in this society…. Seek help

    • roby

      June 12, 2015 at 9:28 am

      Stop being foolish jor! I’m sure u ddnt even read the post that’s why ure vomiting crap!! Charity my ass! No wonder u were named Charity! Such a pity! #Sad

  3. Great Lady

    June 11, 2015 at 7:50 pm

    WORD UTI. YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH ON SO MANY LEVELS. I ESPECIALLY LIKE HOLY SPIRIT VERSION OF A PARTNER. IF NOT FOR ANYTHING, I’LL BE A FAN FROM TODAY.

  4. abebe

    June 11, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    Wooow! such words.. Uti, God bless you is all I can say

  5. Bc33

    June 11, 2015 at 7:59 pm

    Word

  6. Dee

    June 11, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    Oya, I gat my popcorn…comments pls

  7. joy

    June 11, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    Hhhmmmmm ok Uti I can b all dat and more o

  8. love

    June 11, 2015 at 8:11 pm

    Ok. Im impressed- hes smart. Not a fan of this guy at all but dare I say this is the first article on BN I agree with 100%. especially…get your lives together and stop worrying about others.

  9. Suwa

    June 11, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    Thank you Uti.

  10. Ba

    June 11, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    Marriage is our indigenous culture and civilization is gradually waning it out.

    • cindy

      June 11, 2015 at 10:47 pm

      Abeg screw culture. If culture is a bondage, then screw it 100x

    • The Bull

      June 12, 2015 at 12:09 am

      What is this civilization, you are talking about? is it the increasing number of men playing away match or educated and empowered women tired of taking anything from a man because, she can provide for herself. or should we trade civilization and move back to the stone age because of marriage?

    • Dolapo

      June 12, 2015 at 6:54 am

      marriage is not our indigenous culture oo. Community is our indigenous culture. go back to our history. Not everyone got married in the days of our forefathers, however, the spirit of community and fellowship was greatly encouraged.

  11. polypoly

    June 11, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    UTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!! *omo ur blessings plenty for heaven and earth oh* Ur dad is smiling down and screaming “that’s my boy”.

    where do I start ejor??? you said it all oh. I am gonna forward this article to my parents and all their friends. sistrens and brethrens, I will get messy with them, cos they are always asking me about marriage. My own parents are not even pressed oh, but these outsiders will be saying all sorts and be throwing shade.
    Gurl please, like ur sons and daughters are not laying with sidechics and side men. tufia!!! I just cant understand why married men are always at niteclubs late into the nite, regardless of race or nationality. Go home to your wives and kids biko. yes am beetchy but I will always turn married men down. swaaaaa, yeye dey smell

    *side tea* – Uti bia, did you forward this article to ur friends as well??? cos, uhhmmm….*cough cough*

  12. ochokwu

    June 11, 2015 at 8:20 pm

    Uti is good!! Wordsmith of life!!

  13. Pitch Perfect

    June 11, 2015 at 8:24 pm

    I’m so impressed by Uti’s article especially the paragraph, “in conclusion. marriage to me ….” It completely describes what marriage should be like. I’m married and I feel blessed to experience what Uti is saying. he has definitely been inspired by wisdom to so accurately articulate this. Uti is very right, people who are happily married will not force other people to marry by hook or by force. Family and friends mean well when they encourage people to get married but we all need to careful not to overstep our boundaries and avoid putting pressure on others to get married.

    • Papiwest

      June 20, 2015 at 12:51 pm

      Nice quote

  14. SyaCya

    June 11, 2015 at 8:31 pm

    I never really cared for u Uti but after this, mad props bro! #Truetalk

  15. Ok/Clo

    June 11, 2015 at 8:35 pm

    What an Epistle! But is was worth a read….He had so many logical points, let see who’s gonna contradict, because they BETTER come good. Truths, Truths, Real Life Things, No Fairy tale Nt’n.

    women are getting more successful and intolerant of men’s childish behaviors and oh they are also bold enough to explore extra-marital affairs now. (Loved This part) I’m a ‘no bullshit type of person’.

    I have to give it to u here now Uti…let’s drink champagne in wine glasses and toss to this.

  16. wunmi

    June 11, 2015 at 8:35 pm

    Well said Uti! U gained a fan today. God bless u for this piece. I wish my mum could read this and let me be!!

  17. mrs chidukane

    June 11, 2015 at 8:40 pm

    Amazing article. Today has been great on BN with Frances and now, Uti. Marriage is not easy at all. It’s just God and those vows that keep you going some days. You can be 100 percent happy with your spouse but people (maybe inlaws) and situations may make you wish you didn’t get married. God help women and men as well.

  18. mairolala

    June 11, 2015 at 8:42 pm

    Uti, I just fell in love wit u. You are so darn right

  19. A Real Nigerian

    June 11, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    Wow. I never knew this guy was this cool and liberal.
    Unlike the dim-witted, discriminating, narrow-minded and dense Nigerians who think everyone should abide by their stupid societal standards.

    • kelly

      June 12, 2015 at 1:16 am

      lmao!!!! I laugh at you and your generation.. no fine bobo hit you up this week. Abeg carry your rusted car and park well. Everything you must add insult on top. You no dey fear God? Are you still a child?! You are always commenting like a retarded child. As usual, why are you so angry? change your name to “the angry fake Nigerian” it suits you better. Bye Felicia!

  20. Rachael Jay

    June 11, 2015 at 8:51 pm

    Very true…..thanks uti

  21. Ndali

    June 11, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    Very well spoken.

  22. njoku josephine

    June 11, 2015 at 9:00 pm

    Oga Uti u r so ryt, I don’t know y ppl jes go rantin abt marriage, I av sed it tyms witout numba marriage is nt all we shud seek 4, ah ah na wa o dis niaja jes dey kolo 4 brain, my broda I support u 110% haba, pls pls pls let’s grow up, it’s in d bible too dat if ur left hand will make u go to tell u should cut it off now let us apply it here, if ur marriage will prevent u from eternity pls dump d idea of it. It’s beta 2 be faithful to God as a single dan 2 b unfairly unfaithful in ur marriage. It’s no longer a compulsory tin for ppl to get married, stay single dan to get married to d wrong person, marriage witout joy, happiness, peace, faithfulness, forgiveness etc is no marriage buh managed cause, don’t get in2 manage buh marriage of bliss

  23. Vickie

    June 11, 2015 at 9:04 pm

    Yes ooooooh! Gen 2:24 talk am ooooh! So go and get a wife…..

  24. L.

    June 11, 2015 at 9:05 pm

    Slow clap..I fear God too much to take marriage vows lightly #datisall!

  25. Benito

    June 11, 2015 at 9:06 pm

    Is this nig GAY

    • Janeezy

      June 12, 2015 at 5:13 am

      And of he is Gat and u better than him Benito?
      What is wrong with Nigerians ..someone tries tof correct your ignorance. You start questioning his sexuality. .get the message and make changes and not adding up issues here u motherfu**er

  26. Ririgenius

    June 11, 2015 at 9:09 pm

    I love the write up#truth# but I don’t like him!

  27. Oluwaseun

    June 11, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    Well Written Uti. More power to your elbow. I hope to read more inspiring articles from you. cheers boo!

  28. SJ

    June 11, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    I have always known you are different…God bless you bro and will give you the desires of your heart according to His will…keep the food work going…

    • SJ

      June 11, 2015 at 9:12 pm

      Good*

  29. Nnamdi

    June 11, 2015 at 9:13 pm

    Uti, go an marry. what are you waiting for? Don’t try writing your own bible to justify your reason for delaying your marriage. Don’t you know that it’s better for a man to make children while he is still young so that his kids become intelligent kids. The longer one waits, the more likely that his kids would be less intelligent. So, make babies while your cells are still young and not wait till 40.

    • Shush

      June 11, 2015 at 11:52 pm

      Nnamdi your father must have been like a 100 when he sired you. From your comment it’s obvious.
      Didn’t Abraham have Isaac in his old age? Bia take your ignorance to that other blog o

    • The Bull

      June 12, 2015 at 12:11 am

      lmaoo this is the dumbest thing i have read..

    • The Bull

      June 12, 2015 at 12:12 am

      Nnamdi please what research do you have to back up your claim that, if you marry and produce kids late, they won’t be intelligent? lmaoo

    • Dolapo

      June 12, 2015 at 6:57 am

      and this right here is the problem in Nigeria #sighs.

    • Ewa

      June 12, 2015 at 7:46 am

      Any woman that marries this man is in big trouble.. What mentality you have. Shioor!!!!

    • emeraldish

      June 12, 2015 at 8:50 am

      shut up jaree ,

    • ty

      June 12, 2015 at 8:54 am

      lmaooo,,, dumbest thing iv read so far, looooool

    • anonymous

      June 12, 2015 at 10:36 am

      Oga you are obviously stuck in the 19th century. dont you realise he doesnt have to get married to have kids especially when he hasnt forund the right person

    • Anon

      June 12, 2015 at 12:25 pm

      Research has shown that people who marry and have children with dumb partners are more liable to have less intelligent children than their counterparts who married late. The ‘dumb’ genes be very strong!

    • Bolu

      June 12, 2015 at 1:31 pm

      Nnamdi, you sound very unintelligent. What research says having children at 40, makes the kids less intelligent? SMH for you.

    • MissCaramelD

      June 12, 2015 at 2:48 pm

      My father had me in his forties and adopted my brother in his sixties, and luckily for us he is smarter, kinder and more compassionate than you!

    • Williams

      June 13, 2015 at 12:16 am

      Why bother about children yet unborn?you did some study and u found out that people born by older fathers are less intelligent?
      Stop being a prick and try to live in 2015 please.

    • bbz

      June 16, 2015 at 4:53 pm

      are you a mugu?
      So because he is young and has not found peace in his heart to settle down, he should still go and get married so he can have children while he is young.
      I shake my head on your behalf oga Nnamdi..

  30. gresspro

    June 11, 2015 at 9:15 pm

    Yeah.. .so true. Our parents are still fufiling their vows.

  31. Amora

    June 11, 2015 at 9:16 pm

    This is the Best Articulate I’ve read from any Nigerian Male. Very Honest and true. Its a serious Nigerian mentality issue. Am female in my late twenties (am not brgging but am a fine Babe) and I can say I feel the exact same way as Uti, Ave had suitors in the past but none has touched my heart that special way (and its not a matter of posing or being too choosy) I will not get married until I feel it in my heart. I don’t think Marriage is compulsory for everyone and the reality of it is that not all of us will eventually get married. That’s the FACT! I don’t care what anybody says, I don’t look at other people lives cos am content the way I am and by the grace of God I will not fall for the pressures of the world or family till God sends my divine partner & Husband. I Love You Uti and I feel you 100%. Cheers!

  32. lacey

    June 11, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    Excellent! Marriage is not a do or die affair! But when you find that complements you!

  33. Aghogho

    June 11, 2015 at 9:23 pm

    voice out siruti, Nigerians need to learn that divorce is not an option. a bill shud even be passed for life imprisonment if anyone dares divorce. God bless you richly

    • Bolu

      June 12, 2015 at 1:14 am

      LOL at “a bill shud even be passed for life imprisonment if anyone dares divorce” 🙂 I feel u sha

  34. Massat

    June 11, 2015 at 9:26 pm

    ?????????? well said Uti God bless you

  35. andy

    June 11, 2015 at 9:28 pm

    Finally ! Someone who gets it …. well written, Uti.

  36. Pat

    June 11, 2015 at 9:28 pm

    LOL, Uti I just love how you organized and wrote this piece. I have always been of the opinion that not everyone is suppose to get married. And not all married people are mean’t to bring children into this world. Marriage is calling, just like been a couselor, teacher etc. We all have different purpose in life just like everyone can’t be a teacher, pastor or be married. Once we find out our calling or purpose in life, I guess it will save us from some pains and difficulty but I guess this is very hard for some of us because majority of us live up to societies expections and forget to live our own life. This got be laughing but it is the blatant truth, “if it was to swear juju most Nigerians would be too afraid to make vows”. This is deep! One can fear the repercussion of juju but not God who is all powerful to whom we make our vows too.

    • Funny

      June 11, 2015 at 10:59 pm

      Marriage is a calling right and sleeping around is a sin…….. So read your bible well.

  37. Anonymous

    June 11, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    Nice write up Uti…I pray God gives u dt partner…#Stoday;-)#

  38. Gracydaniels

    June 11, 2015 at 9:33 pm

    This is not an ordinary talk, its inspirational. Food for thought.

  39. Uti's baby sister

    June 11, 2015 at 9:34 pm

    Yasssss big brother Uti! Tell these desperate & pretentious heffas jare! Marriage is wonderful but my Nigerian people continue to fuck up its essence with their dishonest, “I must fit in”, “my pastor says” selves. Be honest, do you want to marry that US- ba’z’ed businessman you’ve only been speaking to on the phone because you must just join the mrs., I am a married woman gang? (Meanwhile his photograph is the only part of him present on his wedding day). Are you synonymous to a street dog, an unapologetic Whisky/Bingo, but you’re about to make a vow (shamelessly lie) to God that your soon to be wife will be the only woman you lay with. You know you want to live your life like a first-class hoe but you somehow convince yourself that you should be in a committed relationship & produce children. Live your truth my people. Live your phucking truth & you will be happy

  40. Faith samson

    June 11, 2015 at 9:35 pm

    Noting but fact…..4 d fist time i gat touched by ur words…

  41. chizzy

    June 11, 2015 at 9:41 pm

    Thank u uti…..wise words u gat there.

  42. Uche

    June 11, 2015 at 9:43 pm

    Wow! Well said Uti. I agree with you 100%. It’s nice to know that there’s some depth in all you craziness. Really impressed.

  43. NellyA

    June 11, 2015 at 9:48 pm

    Lmaoooo everybori is now life coach. Iyammi, i am of age o *hands on my head*. Pfft, Who cares, married or single at the end of the day, we will all give account of how we spent our life on earth. I always say, there is no best advice about marriage or being single that anyone can give, except have a feel of your own. We all can never have the same experience: what works for Ms. A, might never work for Ms. B. One more marriage advice here again, i will flip the person into a pan cake. Mschewwww

  44. social media 9

    June 11, 2015 at 9:48 pm

    One word ‘Respect’. Who who knew this Uti guy could have this level wisdom and maturity. Thank God I’ve never been the type to judge a book by it’s cover. I really enjoyed reading this and have utmost respect for your views on marriage in today’s society.

  45. EllesarisEllendil

    June 11, 2015 at 9:48 pm

    People don’t realise that until you ignore a problem it will not go away. The more you people write articles about the marriage issue in Nigerian society the more buzz you generate for it. Seriously who has gone a week on Bella Naija without some article about marriage coming up???

    Seems to me that the people who pretend not to care are the ones who care the most. Personally, I’m not waiting past 28, if you people want to do school run in your 60s nah your own wahala be dat!

    • WarriChic

      June 12, 2015 at 5:48 am

      So if by 28, the right person doesn’t come along what will you do? Jump over he the bridge, accept the proposal of mr. wrong, become someone’s second wife or agree to marry the next pure water hawking man that talks to you?
      I can’t believe the comment got so many likes.

    • God'sBae

      June 12, 2015 at 8:36 am

      Madam so what are you going to do if by 28 no man? You better shut up there! You’re the problem of Nigerians both single and married. It is your type that would hook a man with pregnancy, become second wife, use witchcraft to kill another’s wife, proudly take your friend’s fiancé/boyfriend by all means because you do not want to do school runs in your 60s. Even if you marry at 19 are you a God that decides when you have kids? Lol, you think women that are above 28 and not married, planned that in their early 30s all through their 40s we shall remain single so that people like you who do everything in your power to marry including proposing to a man can insult them. Biko park well! Good luck in your desperation to get married before 28.Even if they do school runs in their 60s, they are indeed fortunate. How many people live to their 60s these days? Biko gerrarahere!!! Your mates are saying by 28, I should have started building my house or taken some burden off my parents by helping in some way, your own is desperation to marry. Misssssssheeewwwwww. Yes! I’m in my mid 30s happily married with kids and I married at 23 so I’m not bitter or single or angry or whatever nonsense names you guys call single women. In as much as marriage can be lovely and my kids are my life. I envy single women both old and young who are able to hold their own and live independently without their identity attached to a man or their reproductive function(kids). Please singles out there take your time, develop yourself. Marriage is hardwork and the wedding ceremony is for one day and max a week or 2. Marriage is not a fairytale. Forget Hollywood and the nonsense ideologies they feed us with. Yes! I fell for those movies too but the reality is better imagined.Equip yourselves with brain and shock absorbers. Marriage has never and will never make you happy. Quit with the destination/arrival fallacy. Be fulfilled in and with yourself first.I’m not saying be foolish with unrealistic expectations that you fail to see when yours is in front of you. I’m saying take your time and be very choosy and allow God’s guidance. You guys will be fine. It’s never too late for anything, anything at all. Good luck to all.

    • Bunny Boo

      June 12, 2015 at 11:11 am

      Can you come and be my second mummy?

    • Bayowilson

      June 12, 2015 at 11:50 am

      God’sBae, you are just a smooth talker. You said you can do anything at anytime but you got married at 23 and you still in your marriage at your mid 30 with your children; but advising others to do otherwise. That’s not too cool. BN is a place where there are so many inexperienced marriage experts. They know everything they don’t or have not practiced. Giving psychological advises when they are taking the fastest route to get theirs done.

      On marriage, You guys better follow your spirits!

    • Bolu

      June 12, 2015 at 1:41 pm

      Amen to your prayer. But what happens when you pass 28?

    • WarriChic

      June 12, 2015 at 5:29 pm

      @BayoWilson,
      So what if God’sBae is married. Actually because she got married (at a young age at that) and stays married puts her in a better position to give such advice. Like Uti said in the article, truly happily married couples know is it not good to pressure others into getting married by force by fire to any random person for mr/mrs sake – because they have seen that marriage isn’t always rainbows and sunshine and requires a lot of work to succeed.
      The desperation for marriage in Nigeria is truly sad.

  46. Suweddy

    June 11, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    Respect Uti. Nice one. Hope pple will read in between the lines and sincerely comment.

  47. Benito

    June 11, 2015 at 9:59 pm

    Is this nig GAY???????

  48. No one

    June 11, 2015 at 10:02 pm

    Go and marry…….lok

  49. Strit Kredibility

    June 11, 2015 at 10:08 pm

    Sir Power Uti, all these epistle to release some pressure, abi be ko? It is ga o. That you even had to write about it betrays an unease which can remotely mean e don dey take style pinch you small small. But i fully understand the position from which you speak, and also the expectation from female fans of yours who are regaled everyday with pictures of your chiseled self in bespoke outfits, straddling and strutting red carpets all over the place. Who no like better thing, which woman no go like to see you as their olowo ori, especially the hordes wey dey come BN come tap and voice their wish. My brother so long as you live and socialize in Nigerian circles, the marriage question mark will be a recurring thing dangling in every informal interaction, so be be ready to write a sequel o, especially as your look alike Gbenro don kolobi Osas.

  50. Duchess

    June 11, 2015 at 10:11 pm

    Always been a fan, now I’m more fanatical about you. This piece is just coming at the right time

  51. tracychinwe

    June 11, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Nix one

  52. winnielindiwe

    June 11, 2015 at 10:28 pm

    Naked truth…bravo

  53. nan

    June 11, 2015 at 10:30 pm

    Na so.

  54. Politbru

    June 11, 2015 at 10:30 pm

    UTI, HOPE THIS ISN’T A PRETEXT TO DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM MARRIAGE OR ARE YOU A FAGOT?

    • A Real Nigerian

      June 11, 2015 at 11:20 pm

      I’m quite sure you are one of those petty, irritating, beta male pussies who possess shallow minds and think life revolves around getting married and having children.

  55. Stylishwierdo

    June 11, 2015 at 10:51 pm

    only wish my mom would read this and let a girl be!

  56. emmy

    June 11, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Nowadays erry’one is just talking about how marriage is dis, is dat.. NT for erry’1.. Blah blah.. Hmmm. Okay o. Getting sick of it sha. Nice article UTI

  57. Love is a beautiful thing but praying partners are more beautiful

    June 11, 2015 at 10:56 pm

    This is what makes me feel “some type of way” about you. I won’t call it “Love” but it’s something deeper. Maybe I’m just daydreaminng. Sometimes I feel like I know you more than many fans even though we never met or shared lenghty conversations. Would you marry a foreigner (african lady) and relocate to another country to live with her if God says so?

    Anyway, I know by the spirit how much you have fear of giving yourself totally to someone. Not because you’ve been disappointed/betrayed in the past but because your possessive nature is almost like God’s nature. Very jealous lover, overprotective. IT CAN HURT SO BAD if the partner doesn’t understand that expression of love from you. You don’t want to hurt yourself or hurt anybody, you’d rather keep your distance than being misunderstood.

    You have deep issues with trust but once you are convinced you can be the “mumu” in the relationship, ready to climb mountains for the one you love. I’m glad your relationship with God has become stronger because it gives you the balance needed to maintain trust in relationship, to give love without being too clingy. That’s why the woman in your life MUST BE spiritually strong, a true worshiper of JESUS and I even think that she will have some kind of calling to ministry ( God’s servant).

    That way, she will be able to contain you because you can be very explosive and passionate in everything you do, going from one extreme to another, capable of turning in on yourself without any warning, setting boundaries and shutting people out. If she’s not prepared spiritually, she will act out of character. You are an extrovert, playful and all but there is this introvert part of your personality that only your woman (the right woman) will decode and cherish. It’s the introvert in you that.feeds the extrovert Uti and makes Him shine.

    Good write up! I will be delighted the day you visit Paris, France! Remain blessed Nwachukwu!

    • Dee

      June 12, 2015 at 9:16 am

      Dear Stan levels.

      Uti be kiaful if you go to Paris oh.

  58. emmy

    June 11, 2015 at 11:00 pm

    Not ONLY bout finding the right person o.. It’s about building the right relationship… Let’s take our faith as an example.God is love. However, there’s still some..lemme say effort in our relationship with him. We just don’t say we accept Christ, we make conscious efforts to do his will. ND He does too. He makes us know he is aware by answering our prayers.. Or just drawing us close… U get what I mean? It’s nice that people are beginning to be open minded nd all dat but we should at least try not just wait 4 dat person or dat feeling. Hope I am making sense

  59. Azumi

    June 11, 2015 at 11:01 pm

    Excellent Bro. u said it all. 9ice aticle .Thanks man.

  60. Motivational

    June 11, 2015 at 11:06 pm

    Uti, write a book or become a motivational speaker.
    You can combine your love for art & entertainment and your motivational speaking abilities. Radio/ Tv Programs. You just name it. Build your brand around it. You will be invited by so many organizations (christian and secular ones) and you will travel the world; Your natural looks and fashionista style will add some spices to it. Women will attend your conferences/programs because you know how to speak to their hearts, you know how to defend them and gentlemen will be attracted to the credibility and seriuousness of your brand. Sell your market, bro! 2015 is the beginning of NEW THINGS. May God be with you always!

    • Bukola

      June 11, 2015 at 11:46 pm

      One word, three letters “lol” but it is actually a good idea. “Seriously”

  61. 2core

    June 11, 2015 at 11:22 pm

    LOL, Uti I just love how you organized and wrote this piece. I have always been of the opinion that not everyone is suppose to get married. And not all married people are mean’t to bring children into this world. Marriage is calling, just like been a couselor, teacher etc. We all have different purpose in life just like everyone can’t be a teacher, pastor or be married. Once we find out our calling or purpose in life, I guess it will save us from some pains and difficulty but I guess this is very hard for some of us because majority of us live up to societies expections and forget to live our own life. This got be laughing but it is the blatant truth, “if it was to swear juju most Nigerians would be too afraid to make vows”. This is deep! One can fear the repercussion of juju but not God who is all powerful to whom we make our vows too.

  62. Dee

    June 11, 2015 at 11:23 pm

    If it wasn’t so long, I would have sent it to my parents but i guess I can summarize it for them in three words……..in different variations
    “Free Me O”
    Don’t Tension Me
    Leave My Case
    Just Keep Praying

  63. Seeker

    June 11, 2015 at 11:25 pm

    The truth written down in plan & simply English. Yet some wackjob still think its funny & baseless. Nice1 bro…

  64. Izi

    June 11, 2015 at 11:26 pm

    Nice write up uti, I totally agree with u Jare.

  65. Ago Seesin

    June 11, 2015 at 11:26 pm

    Uti! Before now, I never reckon with people in the strata I perceived you belong to. But I must confess to you, that you are made of knowledge. I don’t know the level of diggings you went into before you could bring this out. The efficacy of the depth of your valued submission is worth more than thousand of marriage councillors put together. The coefficients of the relevance or better still the accuracy of of your presentation can never be overemphasised. Am married but permit me to tell you that you have just posited the truth. But without missing word, whether in the spiritism, Celestism or in the ordinary physical, there is a woman already created out of your rids, carrying the replica or an identical of your blood. Find HER…………………! God bless you!

  66. Strit Kredibility

    June 11, 2015 at 11:28 pm

    Na wa o, the unintended consequence of this candid speak is that Uti has won himself more female admirers and the marriage question he sought to rationalize lingers. More women who were hitherto indifferent to his person will now pencil him down as a potential. U see what i am talking about. Uti you don spit for air, breeze don blow am come back to you

  67. sultana

    June 11, 2015 at 11:30 pm

    Uti you are too much! not everyone can pull off such a long but very intelligent andffunny article. Well Done! More from you

  68. Yemisi

    June 11, 2015 at 11:30 pm

    Gbammm. …i applaud you Uti..God bless you mightily for your take on marriage.Correct man.And you shall find her the woman that will complete. you.God s original design for you,not a fake woman in Jesus Name..I was wondering where all the sensible God fearing people are in nigeria.Thank you my brother for standing up.God shall honor this stance,you ll see.

  69. ATL's finest

    June 11, 2015 at 11:36 pm

    My baby daddy/ boo/ etc is talking. I will b waiting whenever U are ready

  70. mikzyjoe

    June 11, 2015 at 11:38 pm

    Una wey dey talk hw many of una don marry

  71. zainab

    June 11, 2015 at 11:42 pm

    I loved the write up, uti, u’r too much! This society needs to hear this loud n clear.

  72. Bukola

    June 11, 2015 at 11:43 pm

    It is not about age and it should not be about pressure. It’s should be about your happiness. Most ladies are not concerned about the matrriage just the wedding so they can talk about it with peers and wear the ring. Most guys just want to either satisfy their girlfriends or their family while they get the license to “shina”. What happened to the magic of love and the bliss of marrige and not the glow the wedding day alone. 24 hours is too long to spend with the wrong person, not to mention forEver till death!

  73. Chi NenyeDora

    June 11, 2015 at 11:54 pm

    Nyc one Uti… ur just on point!

  74. adakim

    June 11, 2015 at 11:56 pm

    This is just soooo true….but majority would oppose,the truth is bitter and everyword he wrote makes perfect sense…people should be married for the right reasons,your not married because u signed some papers or have witnesses,marriage is only done right if your doing it with not just your body but your heart soul mind and spirit..may God deliver and have mercy on us all…uti God bless your writting…amen

  75. yeah

    June 12, 2015 at 12:06 am

    I’m 23yrs old and my mum has been disturbing me about marriage for more than 3yrs now.she even told me some few days ago that a prophet saw a vision and that I should fast and pray against delayed marriage.she also said I should tell her the name of the person am dating,I think she wants to take the name to the prophet,lol.I think in her mind am very close to menopause,lol.#the presure is real#

    • jane

      June 12, 2015 at 6:27 am

      what the heck? you are only 23yrs old. You have your whole life ahead of you! there is a time for everything but nigerian culture puts marriage on such a high pedestal. Marriage is not an achievement. It is a difficult path that requires lots of dedication and handwork. All people think about is the wedding and the pictures. Its what happens after that matters. Better to marry someone who really loves and understands you and is willing to accept your flaws,than to marry because you are of age. Build yourself,invest in your personality..so that you will be an invaluable asset to your future partner.

    • Abena

      June 12, 2015 at 11:18 am

      WOW!So when you were 20 your mother started pressurizing you?i always say Nigerians take marriage at a young age way too serious.What happened to getting some quality education?what happened to some solid achievement?what happened to living a little of your life?
      Marriage never guaranteed salvation and ever lasting life…

    • sister from another mother

      June 15, 2015 at 12:17 pm

      I’m 22 soon, thru with nysc 2013, been working for almost 2 years, mumsi says marriage should be on my mind by now.. she goes “no pressure, but u should start thinking of marriage now before it gets too late. u already have everything going..no pressure sweetie” almost every month now… sigh..

  76. Charles

    June 12, 2015 at 12:17 am

    I v always been a huge fan but u know wat bro???l just renewed my loyalty…Thank u,Uti!!!

  77. pretty luvly

    June 12, 2015 at 12:30 am

    I join other sisters to congratulate Uti nwannem. The difference is that I have always been his biggest fan. I learned a lot. Keep it up. I always tell women the same. All fingers can never be equal, just as everyone can never be rich and so not all must marry. Shikina…kpomo kwem

  78. Deedara

    June 12, 2015 at 12:36 am

    “Trust me if it was to swear JUJU most Nigerians will be too afraid to make these vows!!!” This right here is absolutely 100% TRUE. A lot of wisdom in this article. Well said, Uti.

  79. nenny

    June 12, 2015 at 12:45 am

    Nyc 1

  80. corolla

    June 12, 2015 at 12:47 am

    Uti nailed it. I have bookmarked this page!

  81. MzSkeetox

    June 12, 2015 at 12:52 am

    OH! Uti Uti Uti flesh and blood didn’t reveal this to you ( you’re not canal my brother). Exactly what my pastor talked about tonight. . . . This is so inspiring. Thank you for this article

  82. TheTruthShallSetYouFree

    June 12, 2015 at 1:47 am

    This narcissist can only deceive himself and his gullible worshippers. What made you think you have got the skills to lecture others on marriage when haven’t got to bloody courage to marry? You love yourself too much so just keep that way but please don’t lecture us. Rather than come out and declare what / who you really are you are busy trying to be smart by a quartet,

    • na who b dis?

      June 12, 2015 at 10:55 am

      taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! shatap dere and take several seats!

    • Avid Reader

      June 12, 2015 at 12:08 pm

      God forgive you for your statements to Uti. When you touch the Lord’s annointed, get ready for the consequences

  83. Tee

    June 12, 2015 at 1:57 am

    Took robe summarise pls lool

  84. Li Lo

    June 12, 2015 at 2:05 am

    Who knew you could… Next, talk about the fame monsters. Those who unabashedly embrace “celebrity” at the cost of promising loyalty/companionship. Would love to hear your POV on that.

  85. Francine

    June 12, 2015 at 2:33 am

    UTI!!!! I wish I could give you a hug! Please tell them! I like what you said that “Thou Shall Marry” is not in the Bible. I liked every bit of it and fully agree.

    Marriage is good but e no be by force! We ladies have particularly been on the negative end when it comes to pressure to marry and abuse in marriage.

    Ladies, please let’s chill. Having a man in your life (or being married) is not what makes you a woman.

  86. chiagi

    June 12, 2015 at 3:28 am

    WOooooooooW. Uti! I am highly impressed by this article! Well written, well said.. This Very authentic and just plain honesty! U touch all the key points! Pls Pls don’t listen to all those negative comments from those haters! I bu ezigbo nwa! Thank u for this wonderful piece! Two thumbs up!!

  87. Shannie

    June 12, 2015 at 3:29 am

    Honestly, thank God I’m not under any pressure to marry….but I’m not Nigerian, so my experience has been different. Before I found Bella Naija, I didn’t know much about Nigerian culture, but reading all these articles and people’s posts have really opened my eyes. The one thing I couldn’t get over was the almost obsessive nature of marriage in Nigerian society…it was quite shocking. The weddings featured on Bella Naija are beautiful and I adore looking at the traditional attire and all the pomp and circumstance, but so many people seem to be under pressure.

    Anyway, I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get married, but I’ve always thought of it as something that I should be careful about. My main goal in life is to be happy and fulfilled. If I am single and fulfilled, then I will be content. I don’t have to be married or bear children to be happy, but to each his own. I think culture plays a huge part in this, but I live in the US and most people just do whatever works for them. I know that might not be possible in Nigeria.

    This article was great. It was really eye opening and it’s nice that this Uti guy is so open-minded and sure of himself to know what he is seeking in a mate before he takes the plunge. More people should be like him.

  88. Laura

    June 12, 2015 at 4:51 am

    This piece long sha. . . anyways well said bro.

  89. Airsae

    June 12, 2015 at 6:43 am

    Nice writ up uti.. very realistic and plain.. I hope God shows us the right ones for us.. Amen!

  90. D real me

    June 12, 2015 at 6:55 am

    I Comment my reserve on this one but truth be told whatever that is biblical must be fulfilled,that some persons are misusing it and failing on it,doesn’t automatically make it an option…You want to claim responsible yle still single at 35yrs? Hell No, doesn’t work dat way..just be prayerful,get d right partner for u and legalise it asap Bcos dere is d right person for every1 of us and God made it so, it’s just for us to be sensitive towards making our choices so dat we don’t end up like others dat have failed their marital vows.. To me marriage is mandatory for all men Bcos it’s biblical. Thanks to all ya

    • Dee

      June 12, 2015 at 9:22 am

      In all the nonsense you just said, the only sense you made was :

      “get the right person”.
      That is exactly what Uti (and most commenters) are trying to say to hard headed marraige-by-force people like you.

    • na who b dis?

      June 12, 2015 at 10:57 am

      and who says he’s not praying for the right partner? did you even read the article? he sure had you in mind when he wrote this article. smh.

  91. Doris Innocent

    June 12, 2015 at 7:44 am

    Wow, am glad it’s coming from you. Apostle Paul calls being single a blessing and being married a blessing. It all boils down to choice. Ride on..

  92. Areo

    June 12, 2015 at 7:45 am

    Very interesting Uti. Didn’t want to stop reading this. u should start writing books

  93. thelliekechi

    June 12, 2015 at 7:53 am

    Uti thnks for this wondetrful piece i wsh i can read over and over again…….. U used most of my line and i believe i have always been on track…… A man of completion, not just random person bcos of pressure… God bless u

  94. Sylvester

    June 12, 2015 at 8:09 am

    I truly love this word of advice.

  95. Ada

    June 12, 2015 at 8:16 am

    I thank God for Momsie. All she does is pray for me. She teases me though…But I see no pressure!

  96. uzoma

    June 12, 2015 at 8:19 am

    nnamdi I bu onye ara…………did dey father u at 100years,u sound like it…

  97. dupsy

    June 12, 2015 at 8:35 am

    Well said Uti, God bless u!!!!! as for those who dont take time to read gud articles like dis one needs to seriously improve their sense of reasoning

  98. Isioma

    June 12, 2015 at 8:41 am

    Uti well written and delivered. Marriage really is a beautiful journey with the right one God has chosen for you.

  99. La princess

    June 12, 2015 at 8:52 am

    Nice write up Uti. Am impressed! Marriage is not the only achievement in life. Our society puts so much pressure on people and they forget it’s a life time thing. I took my time and today am married to my friend and am happy. One needs to be prepared for marriage. It’s no Child’s play. Most importantly ask God for guidance. Well done Uti!

  100. anonymous

    June 12, 2015 at 8:58 am

    “You want to cover up your sexuality ” @uti is this your own reason for not being married?? That line sounds “gay”…. And who says “all” women that “snagg young fit men daily” do it out of boredom or cos their husbands are unfaithful… pls dont make it look like men are the cause of failure in marriage…….. nice article tho…. buh some parts are one sided

  101. vicky

    June 12, 2015 at 8:58 am

    Uti wise and sensible write-up.
    if you are single and reasonable you would read each line carefully and not be foolish, because truth is what ppl fail 2 realise is the gathering of friends and family is just for some few hours after which you would carry the issues you walked in2 urself, not even your parents who luv u can help you out.
    Make a very wise decision, no sentiments because life has no duplicate. If he has done a million things 4 u its still not a valid reason to say ‘I DO’ because if you gave a million ppl same opportunity they will do same things 4 you.
    JUST MARRY 4 THE RIGHT REASONS THATS ALL I AM SAYING.

  102. Uti Fame seeker

    June 12, 2015 at 9:05 am

    Uti, hope you read this.

    Anyone who knows you and have seen you on BBA would know you are a very cunning man.

    I like your strategy. Trying to get the ladies on your side and looking for more fame? Abeg go and die!.

    These BN girls don wise up. They will not open up their legs for you cos of this.

    And you have to say you are a bachelor? At your age? Man it tells a whole lot about you. It shows you are matured in some areas and a weakling in other areas.

    For the married men to ask you abeg give me one small girl, shows that you are into the business of girls as well.

    God knows your address. You are sleeping with the girls, deceving them, collecting their money all in the name of you are a bachelor

    Uti go and hang

    • Uti Fame seeker

      June 12, 2015 at 9:15 am

      And let me tell you ignorant boy, all these girls (atleast 90%) desire to be married, just that the right man hasn’t come. When the right man they love comes around, they will marry.

      Be there brushing their ego and telling them what they loved to hear.

      You are in no place to say anything on marriage. Boy you are still a learner

      If i were you or any other reasonable BN member, i wouldn’t right on all these silly negative, men bashing, ridiculous, depressing articles. I would write on articles like

      How to make marriage work
      Understanding the male/female perception of life
      Maturity in relationships/marriage
      The place of God in your relationship/Marriage
      Understanding basic relationship/marital problems
      Essentials of Communication in relationship/marriage
      The place of patience and understanding in relationship/marriage
      Been there, passed through it and came out of it victorious
      ………

      The world is so full of negative people who can talk, analyse problems, compound problems but none to give solutions

    • cindy

      June 12, 2015 at 10:15 am

      How did he bash you people o? And you don’t want to be bashed yet you just bashed women in your comment. Irony? And the one way traffic you little boys that comment on BN sometimes have though. Who here said they don’t want to get married? People just want to get married for the right reasons and not because of societal pressure. Please read to comprehend. Don’t expose your lack of intelligence.

    • Bunny Boo

      June 12, 2015 at 11:16 am

      Boss/BossLady..you have just balanced the article. That said, Me I want to marry. I am not ashamed to say it. Once the right person comes along. I am off oh.

  103. Passer-by

    June 12, 2015 at 9:16 am

    I agree with Uti on this. However my opinion is that pointing the fact that some married people are unhappy and committing adultery means that if you decide not to get married you should remain celibate. The math is simple. If we are using a biblical approach, sleeping around is fornication and sleeping around whilst married is committing adultery. As sin is sin, then both are equal. Therefore, unless you are a virgin (or that one time you had any sexual intercourse was through rape), don’t judge married people who are not keeping their vows to God if you as a single person isn’t keeping your own personal vows to God.

  104. maonney

    June 12, 2015 at 9:25 am

    This is soooo true. Africans need to change their mind set. No matter how much suffering and molestation one goes through in marriage the only thing people end up saying as a consolation is “at least ure married”. This should stop. Shine ur eyes oooo

  105. thehermit

    June 12, 2015 at 9:29 am

    “Uti, go an marry. what are you waiting for? Don’t try writing your own bible to justify your reason for delaying your marriage. Don’t you know that it’s better for a man to make children while he is still young so that his kids become intelligent kids. The longer one waits, the more likely that his kids would be less intelligent. So, make babies while your cells are still young and not wait till 40.”

    WHO SAYS THIS IN THIS TIME AND AGE????

    • Bolu

      June 12, 2015 at 2:07 pm

      thehermit, you are soooo THICK!

  106. Vivikaka

    June 12, 2015 at 9:33 am

    Well spoken uti. You be better pikin abeg tell them. The society we live in and the pretentious people who will never mind their business and keep their mouth out of your life. I love the fact that you said those who are happily married have not business knowing who is single or not. God bless you jor

  107. Ochouba Chidinma

    June 12, 2015 at 9:36 am

    Very Well Said!!!!….God Bless You!

  108. FinchleysFinest

    June 12, 2015 at 9:40 am

    I didn’t even read everything but hey my opinion (Which doesn’t count anyway)
    – Its possible for Uti to be playing with the same team, then he’s tried over and over again to prove he’s straight but now he’s come to realise that you have to ask yourself if you’re ready for that life called Marriage.
    NOTE this special part **You want to cover up your sexuality – Society has pushed people into hiding so marriage is now a way to prove straightness. ..But that’s another article on the way**

    This is personal to Uti and I’m sure everyone knows…

    I feel his pain and I’m not here to judge him..

    You never can tell how it feels until you find yourself in that situation.

    Overall, Nigerians or society nowadays adds pressure to marriage. I am sure when you’re 16-24 they tell you to run away from boys (or girls). Then you finish with your education and start a job and they ask ” How is your gf or bf? KMT….. lol

    It is well

  109. divea

    June 12, 2015 at 9:42 am

    Well said. It is this type of read that inspires me and make me want to better myself till my hubby comes. Although i don’t have pressures from my parents, i still get subtle hints from them.

  110. macsams

    June 12, 2015 at 9:47 am

    this thing about “i fear God” from most Nigerians gats me confused… i strongly dont support pressurised marriages but should we continue in fornication even when we are way past maturity that grace may abound? people will always say i go to church, i fear God and yet commit fornication. if God were to be a man(i speak as a man) he would understand with young people engaging in premarital sex but what he would never understand is why a guy who has money, is matured, will never want to get married rather enjoys fornication. wait a minute, dont give me that crap about not all men are the same. the truth is if you r a sinner there is no way u wld be principled on how not to commit fornication. a christian will sure not write an article like this. rather a christian will encourage people to depend on God for a lasting Marriage by giving him a good wife. even if you take ur time till you get older, it is still certain that you still might never find the right woman. all men must not marry, that is lame, are you wicked not to continue the name your parents gave you? if you r that wicked, its only a fact that you dont love your life. i see no reason why a fully grown man would not envisage having a good family, afterall behind every succesful man there is a woman and vice ver sa. i aint saying Uti isnt a Christian, who am i but a sinner to condemn another. i am just passing common sense to the lots who support what ever he has said. i believe a younger person of about 23-27 should write this and try at most to settle at 33. it is not encouraging for celebrities to write all manner of shit to back up their unfaithfulness, celebrity aside God never created us to be like this… ask reverend fathers how they feel…

    • pamela

      June 12, 2015 at 1:09 pm

      so do you suggest people marry and adultery instead. Marriage is not about age but about state of mind and God’s timing . if a lady or a guy is not married by 33 then there lives are off track is that your view point. Mind you Paul the most ardent apostle was not married . Marriage is not a criteria for spiritual righteousness, but a gift from God. so no one should place some abstract clock on it. Understand this not everyone is meant to get married.

    • Bolu

      June 12, 2015 at 2:16 pm

      macsams Go back and read what this guy has written.

  111. DES

    June 12, 2015 at 9:52 am

    IF ONLY ALL SINGLE PEOPLE CAN SEE THROUGH UTI’S VIEW NO ONE WILL MARRY WRONG…

  112. Grace

    June 12, 2015 at 9:57 am

    After reading, I’m almost inclined to ask Uti who wrote this article for him. Cos it’s the most sense I’ve heard him make since becoming a public figure. All the same Uti, very commendable piece of work. Keep up these sensible write ups. Weldone!

  113. nonye

    June 12, 2015 at 10:28 am

    Well said Uti! And I pray you find the happiness and type of partnership you (and anybody else seeking) want as soon as God wills it. Not because you should be in hurry but because it means you get to spend more time and experience more happiness with that person in this lifetime

  114. becca

    June 12, 2015 at 10:38 am

    Uti hasn’t found real love to make him settle down,or his been disappointed before so his scared to marry.uti my advise is, yes marriage is nt sumthin to rush into,u need God’s choice to trust ur heart to , one who would respect and value u,u also need to work on ur self to be the right one coz marriage comes with alot of surprises and pain. No marriage is perfect in every marriage they re trying times but love overcomes all challenges.so fall in love and pray coz God says out of all fruit of the spirit the greatest is love ,so fall in love and tell u ,u would have a different story about marriage

  115. Daisy

    June 12, 2015 at 10:47 am

    Uti, U made my day.! I just can’t explain how u make me feel, but u made all complete for me. Thank u & God bless u more.

  116. Tk

    June 12, 2015 at 10:56 am

    Nigerians are so predictable. Team follow follow………Really hope a time will come when we’ll be so free enough to always truly express what we need, want and how we feel about ideas and people

  117. cleo

    June 12, 2015 at 11:01 am

    UTI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!What about MamBea. BBA Hotshots. I thought she had captured your heart. Was looking forward to a Bea-Uti-ful celebration.
    ANyways, when your heart is captured you will know. Dont settle. That has been my motto. Nice write up

  118. anonymous

    June 12, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Oga you are obviously stuck in the 19th century. dont you realise he doesnt have to get married to have kids especially when he hasnt forund the right person

  119. Kiki

    June 12, 2015 at 11:05 am

    OMG! That right there is d reason I loved Uti before he started being arrogant (or so I thought). He couldn’t have said it any better. The pple on one’s neck to get married have or had d worst marriages. Uti where do I send your kiss to?

  120. Minister Ade

    June 12, 2015 at 11:42 am

    He made made several cool points but didn’t address the current issue in our generation.

    The bible says, let the one who cannot ‘HOLD’ marry.

    Whatever you said becomes valid if you can “HOLD’ (not committing sexual immorality).

    And when you are about to marry, marry the right one and stay married..

  121. Abena

    June 12, 2015 at 11:47 am

    It’s crazy how me, a bachelor, would go out to a club and at 2/3am I’m tired and I want to go home and the married dudes are saying…where u de go Na???? Party never finish!!
    *straight face**
    REALLY???!! Who is cuddling your wife at this ungodly hour? Why is she sleeping alone for Goodness sake!
    Even worse is when a married person says…Uti introduce me to one small fine girl Na .i de de lonely sometimes ….
    OH WOW!!!
    Very irresponsible but HEAVY STATEMENT.
    Married and Lonely?? Hmmmmm
    Let’s not forget that thanks to social media some equally lonely and bored housewives are snagging young fit men daily!!!! I mean the rate is alarming!
    In some marriages the husbands are constantly cheating as well as the wives??!
    So wait, why marry?!!!! Why??

    This whole sentence here sums up why marriage nowadays is a sham!Men are openly philandering with no shame and the women arent dulling at all…
    Thanks Uti,i dont like your person,but i love your MIND!

  122. Ameda

    June 12, 2015 at 11:54 am

    The criticism and analyses are on point. the following are my thoughts on the matter.
    In the vows, as human beings, ‘worse’ does not have to get that far. It may be as simple as unfaithfulness.
    Your right one is painted as one with whom you think every pressure will disappear. My Message is: Marriage is a commitment and is called that for the reason that it’s an option that isn’t perfect but can be nurtured into beauty; only by hardwork guided by God and dedication. I will say that a perfectly normal person can become abnormal as life hits and it is commitment from the two parties that comes into play to wade the storm. The perfect mate which you describe may not be realistic, a thought of a person will probably not cure us from our shortcomings( lust, as in the article) it’s also commitment to abstain while working with God to make us whole. We should all strive for wholeness ( which ONLY God can give) and then come into a union . Stop waiting for someone to change you.It is not possible. A partner is like paint on a finished building. God is the most important factor for the man and for the woman and for the union or else it will not work. Let’s start a relationship with God today to ask for refining so that we can become keen with our purpose for which a partner will come and a fruitful journey will begin.

    • Onyinye

      June 12, 2015 at 3:16 pm

      I absolutely agree with you, Ameda.

  123. nnegel

    June 12, 2015 at 11:55 am

    This all boils down to say, being married is not staying married. Marriage is not a small children things Yelz! One needs to be mentally prepared before they delve into the “M” word. that is why there are so many books on marriage to help people prepare their minds of what they will or might one day go into.

    Marriage is very interesting, when your mind is prepared to accept change, for you keep seeing new things every day. UTI i believe is really working on himself to be a better person if tomorrow he becomes someones HUSBAND, and he is doing it the right way. I second his write up. i am of the belief that he did not write this to scare people that are yet to decide on the M” word away, but to help them know that they are to prepare themselves before they set off for the Journey into the Institution.

  124. Minister Ade

    June 12, 2015 at 12:03 pm

    People don’t want to marry but fornicate…

    If you choose not to marry, be focused on becoming what God wants us to be and not be lustful…

    See, don’t paint marriage negative to satisfy your lustful sexual desires.

    God ordained marriage. Also depend on Him for His choice.

  125. Destiny

    June 12, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    Am so grateful first to God for pulling out gifts from every corner of influence, it shows our prayers are been answered, keep it up, waiting for your next article, Ask you invest back in society may God reward you, Amen.

  126. Igbani Adeyinka

    June 12, 2015 at 12:40 pm

    U’re very right! Ur writeup is deep and it’s like u covered all the angles. Bravo!

  127. Eyitayo

    June 12, 2015 at 12:42 pm

    Nice write up Uti, thank you. as for me o no rush rush to marriage, i have always told my folks that i would rather die single than to be in a wrong marriage…..marriage doesn’t guarantee your happiness oooo

  128. Faith

    June 12, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    Everybody is entitled to their opinion. Kudos Uti for this wise write-up. Society pls take note. All I can say is read, travel and learn. Enough said

  129. pamela

    June 12, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    i believe marriage is a beautiful thing , designed by God to create a wonderful community of love and when you find that special person fall in love , marriage is not a choice but a logical next step.
    With that being said i agree with Uti , a lot of people are unhappily married, and for some the best part of their marriage was the wedding. a lot of women are depressed living unfulfilled lives because they married for the wrong reasons this is now an issue, but people tend to shrug it off because it clashes with the idea that everyone should be paired up. Personally i believe marriage is a gift from God and like any gift we only have to wait to receive it whether it will be given or not is totally up to the most High God.
    Life is more than marriage one look at war zones would show you there is more to life than an event make the best of your life work hard but don’t try to give yourself things that only God can properly give you . YOU WILL FAIL.

  130. Stella Kashmoney

    June 12, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    Fantastic write-up Uti. May God bless you for speaking the truth. Gbam!

  131. omolara

    June 12, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    @Uti my comment is directed to u. I went through ur write-up earlier & i must confess its a great one. I have heard n read a lot about u on social networks but i won’t base my judgment on those. But i think u are a public figure n should expect people’s comment about u especially ur fams. UTI Marriage is sweet depending on the cutlery u use to eat it. If truly u are looking for someone who can also be truly committed to u then i think u av to work on been committed too.So good to know u realize the need of God’s help.
    So sorry if u think have intruded, am not a counsellor though but just felt it was right to say this…..

  132. prince

    June 12, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    I totally agree with UTI on this one. Marriage is overrated in this part of the world. if you’re not married at a certain age its as it you’re irresponsible yet we have so many people living in hell in the name of marriage.

  133. Onyinye

    June 12, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    Wow!!!! No offence, but I never imagined that Uti could come up with such an amazing piece. Definitely a huge fan from now..
    “Trust me if it was to swear JUJU most Nigerians will be too afraid to make these vows” If Couples exchanged vows before JUJU, a lot would make it work and stay married, a lot would be faithful and countless would still be single…We’re in the dispensation of Grace/Mercy but we shouldn’t take God for granted.
    Let’s practice what we preach ooo. Lol..God bless you for this, Uti.

  134. tope

    June 12, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    This is just the truth, I am on a stand dat I can’t date married men, and I wonder a lot about my family an friends that are married and their husbands cheats on them that I know of en can not tell, and those that cheat on their husbands. Uti u gave the Bomb. Thanx for the enlightenment. I love u

  135. Bolu

    June 12, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    Well said!

  136. Mimi

    June 12, 2015 at 2:49 pm

    Marry!!! If you marry a good woman your luck, if you marry a bad woman you become a philosopher. Vice versa. Sango fire your mouth if u criticise me!! Ppl should marry. All risks are worth taking and if it doesn’t work you walk. Don’t die in marriage but MARRY

    • WarriChic

      June 12, 2015 at 5:32 pm

      I’m disgusted by the comment for real.

  137. Weather

    June 12, 2015 at 2:53 pm

    This… this article is gold.

  138. Godon

    June 12, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    Nice post,love it.

  139. Saving Grace

    June 12, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    Sigh* Reeks of Double standards, incoherent point of position, sentimentality,brainwashing, despicable cunning (that makes you feel apathy,I was almost carried away thinking,he’s trying hard to cover up his tracks on his sexuality,but I really don’t care), factual truths,indeed lots of reality. Where do we draw the nexus of fear of marriage and aftermath effect of marriage? I haven’t gotten it. In all, its well written but mostly flawed arguments. As for uti, time shall tell when the perfection he seeks would find him.
    For you people reading, Marriage is good o. It won’t be perfect,but you need to experience it and make it work. Do we all ever know who is really going to be right for us? You need to get the experience. Uti writes well. I wish him all the very best.

  140. MissCaramelD

    June 12, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    Can I frame this post? I salute you sir.

  141. Imani

    June 12, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    I loooove your mind Uti! Yassss! It’s very refreshing knowing that a guy actually thinks this way. I personally have been to two weddings where the grooms invited their girlfriends, infact one of the groom’s girlfriend was known by his friends as the “Iyale” (yorubas would understand this), while the bride was the Iyawo because he had been dating both of them around the same time and same number of years. Marriage these days is child’s play. Truth be told. If a couple decide to marry for the right reasons, make God the foundation of their marriage, and treat it “God’s way”, then they’ll never have major problems. Thumbs up Uti, great piece.

  142. ifeyinwa onuorah

    June 12, 2015 at 5:17 pm

    good job.

  143. mezu

    June 12, 2015 at 7:30 pm

    I personally would not walk down the aisle until I court someone who makes me feel this way.
    i guess with this statement you might face ladies with grate pretense cos the already know what you want… I wish you luck. there is a lot of lessons here.. single or married take note.

  144. zeezee

    June 12, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    Ha! why are people so afraid of marriage? Later they will say they are risk takers.

  145. Kuma

    June 12, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    It’s amazing d kind of comments I see here.
    D young man is simply saying if u must marry, don’t do so 4 d wrong reasons make sure that is who God has destined 4 u so u don’t live a depressed and unhappy life.
    Maturity is leaving a constructive criticism without being abusive, rude, & insulting.

  146. Kma

    June 12, 2015 at 11:35 pm

    It’s amazing d kind of comments I see here.
    D young man is simply saying if u must marry, don’t do so 4 d wrong reasons make sure that is who God has destined 4 u so u don’t live a depressed and unhappy life.
    Maturity is leaving a constructive criticism without being abusive, rude, & insulting.

  147. Williams

    June 13, 2015 at 12:34 am

    Well said Uti.Marriage isn’t a bed of roses.It takes a lot to get by it.However,no one is perfect,,a perfect partner will never exist.People have to be tolerant and ready to make it work.The benefits of marriage cannot be over emphasized.

  148. ifeoma

    June 13, 2015 at 3:36 am

    Uti if u don’t want to get married it’s all fine and good but pls don’t make it sound like marriage hell, some marriages are working stop holding on to d failed marriages and take a look at marriages dat are working is not as bad as u make it sound so u won’t scare people that wants to get married.and besides I know u, u can only get married wen nigeria agree 4 men to marry men so chill bcos u hiding ur sexuality behind dis ur article.but one u should know if u come out to accept who u truly are and stop being perfect which u r not it will save u alot of emotional feelings and stop calling God come and accept who u are people will For a while and it will all die down, look at derenle today who killed him and his still one of my best presenter and nobody will ever bother him getting married bcos he accepted who he is.so Uti forget all those ur plenty talk tell d society who u really are.

  149. Simmy

    June 13, 2015 at 7:27 am

    I love Uti’s write up. Uti has a always been a guy with wisdom and self control, if you think it’s a lie, watch Big bro africa 3 and all stars. By the way, a lot of married people are unhappy today. I know all of you on this page know at least one unhappily married couple. As for the christians here, marriage is a sacrament, it as as serious as baptism, as priesthood. It must be taken seriously. Thank you Uti. You all should read matthew 19:10-12

  150. Ifeoma

    June 13, 2015 at 8:21 am

    Well said my brother..God bless you for dis write up…and grant you your good heart ♥ desires..tanx

  151. Choice

    June 13, 2015 at 9:22 am

    Well said. One may think you are married cos the marriage knowledge displayed in the write up is deeply awesome. You said the truth and nothing but the truth. Hahaahah but am sure you must have succeeded in scaring away those fake ladies who might have try coming your way simply because of your status and not for true love. This is a master piece. Uti well done

  152. funmix

    June 13, 2015 at 9:51 am

    Uti God time is d best marriage is not a joke when u re ready feel free man

  153. Dee

    June 13, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    Thanks Uti

  154. Angelliet Graffix

    June 13, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    Mehn! This is true talk. I just wish some parents will read this article. My parents do want me to get married and am just 24. Upon have been into it and had 2 kids for my x, they still wants to push me into it now. My reply to what they are requesting for is “I get married and be treated like baby again or I Die” their reply was “you better choose one or we choose for u” mehn! My next reply was “Geez! Am not ready for death and am not ready for marriage” do u know what their reply was? You won’t believe it. It was ” then pack out of our house, you are disturbing our Love” I said “Ooops! No probs” the next thing I saw that my mum and my dad are now divorce and my words to them now is ” you see, u want me to get married again so I can get divorce like both of u?” No reply this time and I said again and my last warning “marriage or death” they shouted “none” that’s the end. Am free and I call my kids to say “hi” once in a while.

  155. Sammy Tena

    June 13, 2015 at 1:58 pm

    Uti abeg e get one thing wey u forgot to add which is that getting married doesn’t amount t to one settling down. Most guys and ladies out there I the name of settling down go and get married. Please my people settling down is a function of maturity of the mind I mean it has to do with how developed your mind is otherwise how come my newly we’d friend still feels like she didn’t get enough of d groove before saying yes? How come she still enjoys d attention she gets from men who know she’s married yet chase after her? How come my other married friend says he spent on her like no one including paying fees and now that he’s not forthcoming are has to look for money and I said to her he was a philanthropist and nothing more. Please countrymen countrymen women settling down has nothing to do with marriage but having a banned and we’ll developed mind. Uti God bless u

  156. marina

    June 13, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    Amen UTI

  157. Anonymous

    June 13, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    I woke up one morning.. with a particular broadcast msg rolling into my phone from different contacts. It got me curious,i opened them only to see this…..
    http://www.bellanaija.com/2015/06/11/uti-nwachukwu-writes-i-must-marry-or-else/. With the hash tag “TO THOSE WHO DESPERATELY WANTS TO GET MARRIED” It made me even more curious so i opened it,n read through.
    Well, it was a good one, but rather a biased notion. I saw the piece coming from a particular point of view, which caused a thing of concern to me. I’m usually not the type that would get myself stating or countering opinions to the public via social media or any other means,but a part of me constantly begged to differ…

    I believe that Nigerians,have actually accepted that times have changed,n in fact
    to me,think we have taken the change the wrong way. That’s why there is for example; the high rate of divorce and failed marriages.
    In the days of our forefathers compared to our recent times,marriages were arranged,respected n even more successful to the very end. So this has not only to do specifically with people rushing into marriages or not..girls,women were married off to suitors even without their consent or them having to court,but they lived together with their husbands, made it work n raised great families not until the one constant thing had its way… “CHANGE”.

    Marriage in this part of d world and every part of the world is seen as relevant and important because it actually is. And people who must have suffered,died or committed suicide as a result of it is unfortunate. Such is life, it doesn’t favour all n we can’t change that.
    Yes parents can get really pushy towards their children settling down,it can get really annoying but for Christ’s sake every parent’s joy is to see their children settled,taking off from where they stopped and even do better. Thank God for the ones that don’t mount pressure,some of us are privileged to have parents or guardians like that,who respects,supports or get patient enough with our decisions,but realistically if you search deep within their hearts,trust me they hope their children settles properly.

    Raising a family is like continuing the race from where our parents stopped.To raise a family you need a partner who is constantly beside you,and to effectively achieve that? Marriage is the best way to go about that whether you like it or not. To die single is no better than being stuck with the wrong partner… They bear the same grieviances. They both die lonely anyway! Even if one decides to be a single parent,i have nothing against that. There are lots of single parents out there who have raised or are raising their child/children better than many other couples,that doesn’t mean single parenting is better than both parenting. Two heads are always better than one. Most of the single parents didn’t plan for that to happen,they’re only strong enough to move on from where things went wrong.

    Yes! Society must talk!!! That we cannot control. Anyone in the first place who really cares about living their life for the society… Well, good luck to them. It’s your life not the society’s. I know it’s annoying when every where you go people tend to judge or analyze ur life. But what can we do but grow thick skins. So ignore them!!!

    Just like success,not everyone becomes successful in life. The cobblers or barrow pushers you see on the streets may not have planned to be that way,so would you then say some people should not work hard in life because not everyone were meant to be successful? Hell No! Success is not written on the face, so who gets married or not can neither be predicted.

    Life is a process. We grow as children n there are things our parents nurtured us to do,like going to church,going to school,doing house chores,not watching late night movies,eating what the family eats etc. Up until we grew,It may not have been fun,but it moulded us into proper adults. With time we understood what those routines meant and how it has groomed us. What I’m saying in essence is that most times in life,not every step we are about to take is the most pleasant or comfortable.. But we take them because life is a process, so there are certain things we need to do to complete every level to add a beautiful meaning to our existence. Please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t encourage that people should get married because it’s a process that must be completed, of course you’ll pray and be guided by God for a good partner. But don’t go giving God a thorough description of who your partner must be! And how perfect you must feel before you settle down. Because that prayer might as well take a very long time before/If it gets answered.

    What also struck me about the write up was where married men were being judged by a Bachelor!!! Wooaw!!! That was brave though.
    Hear me o! I do not support infidelity and never will. Cheating is cheating! Whether in marriage or not. And generally every where we go as women,we get the “Men must Cheat” sermon to the point that our mothers rehearse with us on how to handle or condone a cheating husband. That is to show u how common it has been long before now! Let he who has rod in his eye,first remove his,before removing that of his neighbor’s.
    Fornicating as a bachelor is as wrong as committing adultery as a married man lets not justify any. If one cheats as a bachelor,what makes you think that he’ll not cheat as a husband… Na Jazzz???? This thing is a habit. It cannot be subdued in a day!
    For crying out loud! People have their choices to make! If a man decides to be unfaithful to his wife or a woman unfaithful to her husband… It’s their choice! It’s not enough to make marriage look scary!

    As for bending the scriptures to suit our opinions… I won’t argue to that. Cause I know the truth remains the truth no matter how hard we twist it. Asides the vows taken in marriages, there are vows too we take as Christians in services,masses,in our personal lives, even when we sing the Nigerian anthem! And we break them everyday! It doesn’t mean shit to us n we don’t get judged for not holding up to those vows.
    We see what we see and we know what we know. We don’t know how many times some married couples who seem faultless,have actually broken their vows, I mean even our spiritual leaders and parents but they still stay together because no one is really perfect…

    I’ve heard of 2lovers who dated for several years,they seemed inseparable but couldn’t last a year in marriage. I also have a close friend, whose sister was married off to a suitor she didn’t court for a day and I must confess… That’s one of the best union I’ve ever come across since conception.
    We cannot be too careful. Life is lived by God’s special grace. U may meet someone today that makes you feel complete,that same person tomorrow can turn your worst mistake. We mustn’t wait for the perfect feeling to take a bold step into shooting us to the next level of our lives.

    All this is about trying! Making things work. No match is made in heaven. Even if u get married to your best friend, you two still need to make sincere effort… I mean thorough effort to keep it going.
    Not everyone marries for the same reason. Like I said earlier,it’s a matter of choice. Make ur own decision too n leave them be. People have different perspectives to life, we can’t expect everyone to reason or be like us. Some have married based on pressure,or desperation or all what not… And their marriages are blossoming today while some who married for all the right reasons are separated or divorced.That’s life….
    Well I know lots of people will totally misunderstand my point of view,and as usual probably get abusive… Trust me… Feel free to express yourself like I just did. It’s life. We learn everyday even through other people’s foolishness and our mistakes.

  158. Chidindu

    June 13, 2015 at 10:56 pm

    Dear Uti,

    It’s good to know that you are one celebrity who hasn’t let the “ishs” of public life becloud their mind’s eyes from speaking out on what should be.

    When one gets to a certain age in 9ja, people start asking questions as regards if they are married or not without even asking if they are yet qualified to marry or not. I used to know a 30years old lady some 2years ago who didn’t know how to cook but had all the make up stuff in this world just to attract men. Hmmmm, if this desperate lady, who is still yet unmarried, eventually gets married….the husband may die of food poisoning.

    marriage is about “COMPLEMENTATION” and not “COMPETITION”

    OgeChukwuKaNma!

  159. iphie

    June 14, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    I personally loved every thing said.. we should be realistic and know that marriage is not something that should be rushed or an obligation like he said, it’s an institution and both parties happiness is important, he was very blunt about it and you don’t have to accept it but deep down almost everyone casting him here are guilty of one or two mistakes in their relationship and they pretend. I must say very good article. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I see young people like 22 and male 25 getting married and yet they both cheat, marriage is not about the title or a coat of power, it is an INSTITUTION PEOPLE ordained by God.

  160. Joanie

    June 14, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    Welldone Uti. Wonderful write up

  161. Joanie

    June 14, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    Welldone Uti. Wonderful write up. God bless u

  162. AD

    June 16, 2015 at 10:28 am

    Nice piece! Totally agree with Uti!

  163. SUDAR

    June 16, 2015 at 11:48 am

    Uti, this is the best write-up ever the points are clear. Thumbs up

  164. entwinedlife

    June 17, 2015 at 7:39 am

    Well said Uti. Guys stop complaining about ur wives and vice versa u chose each other. Period! But also Uti, ur description of a perfect wife is more of that of a perfect girlfriend marriage is a whole different dynamix and the most important part of it is who you are as a person as sup to who ur partner is.

  165. PreD

    June 17, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    Lol.. Pipo don marry but dem stil be
    JARA ooooh.. Uti u jus throw bomb
    run go boil rice…oda pipo dey boil stew, som de fry dodo,meat,moi moi mak una buy fry turkey.. I jus wan chop wen e done..stil add JARA sha.

  166. MommaF

    July 8, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    Nice one, Uti. Very commendable. However since you’re quoting God and the bible, I hope you stay away from sexual sin (fornication and the likes) while you wait for that special woman that feels like the Holy Spirit to you!
    Best wishes!

  167. Tshediso Sesioana

    October 8, 2015 at 10:25 am

    Oh wow Uti!
    Such openness and authenticity. As a man of similar age, I identify with communal pressure for marriage. Though I am not of Nigerian upbringing, I can tell you that for me being of South African upbringing, I find myself subjected to the same droning societal pressure for me to wed,

    Which makes me consider that perhaps this is not exclusively a societal issue faced by Nigerian singles but an issue faced by a majority of singles raised in Religious, Culture Intensive and self-obsessed communities throughout the globe.

    Anyway that my opinion. Thanks for the write-up. Refreshing and insightful.

    Regards.
    Tshediso Sesioana

  168. Freddie

    November 20, 2016 at 4:01 pm

    Who knows, maybe she wants to marry him

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Star Features

Recent Posts

Get The Pan-Atlantic Advantage

Advertisement
css.php