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You Won’t Believe What this Best Man Did at his Best Friend’s Wedding

BellaNaija.com

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A recent bride in a letter to Slate’s advice columnist Dear Prudence (Mallory Ortberg), narrated what her husband’s best friend/best man/officiant did at their wedding.

According to her, John* had the audacity to propose to his girlfriend and announce that they were expecting a baby at their wedding. She said he even found a way to make the entire ceremony about them.

She wrote:

My husband’s best friend proposed to his girlfriend during our wedding ceremony: My husband and I started dating, got pregnant, had a child, moved in together, bought a house, and got a dog in that order. Our friends and family have asked us for years why we weren’t married yet. We always pushed it off to build better lives.

We’ve done really well for ourselves and finally reached a point where we could afford a huge blowout wedding to celebrate our lives with everyone we know and love. My husband’s best friend, “John,” was the best man/officiant. The setting was beautiful, everyone seemed happy, our families were overjoyed. My mom may have used the phrase hallelujah a few dozen times. The entire atmosphere felt moving.

So moving in fact that John stopped mid-ceremony to propose to his longtime girlfriend, “Jane,” and reveal her pregnancy. I couldn’t even hear the vows my husband wrote or the rest of the ceremony over the noise of Jane’s happy sobs, her very surprised family who were also guests, and people seated nearby congratulating her.

Even the videographer cut to her frequently during the ceremony, and you can’t hear anything over the chatter. When John gave his toast, he apologized for being caught up in the moment, and then proceeded to talk about he and Jane’s future with nary a mention of us. During the reception John and Jane became the primary focus of our guests.

John even went out of his way to ask the band for a special dance for just him and Jane on the dance floor. I’ve never been an attention hog, and I wouldn’t even have minded if he’d proposed after the ceremony, but weeks later I am still seething. I am so shocked and angry that I keep asking myself if this is real life.

My husband hasn’t spoken to John since the wedding, and our mutual friends think what he did was rude but that my husband should just get over it. My husband has joked that he’ll resume his friendship when John and Jane give him a $40,000 check for “their half of the wedding.” Do you think John’s behavior warrants the end of a long-term friendship, or we are angry over nothing.

So BellaNaijarians, a couple of questions; will you allow this? Has this ever happened to you? How did you react to it? If this happens to you, what will you do? Let us know.

Photo Credit: Nataliya Pylayeva | Dreamstime

45 Comments

  1. Tosin

    June 8, 2017 at 6:06 am

    One book like that titled ‘So Long A Letter.’ I don’t remember what was in it tho’

  2. Nedoux

    June 8, 2017 at 6:20 am

    What??!! Talk about stealing one’s shine.

  3. Sheri

    June 8, 2017 at 6:33 am

    Wrong, wrong, wrong on so many levels. I would not keep a selfish friend like that. He did not even care how you would feel. A selfish person can keep another selfish person as a friend, but if you’re the total opposite of this kind of man it’s best to keep a distance. How did he even become a best man?! Didn’t he show traits of this kind of stupidity before?! URGH!

  4. LadyVi

    June 8, 2017 at 6:50 am

    OMG this is absolutely unacceptable and so wrong on many levels.Why ruin other people’s special day.Very selfish of him.Forgive him and cut him off.He’s a JOKE.

  5. Olutayo

    June 8, 2017 at 7:13 am

    Common who does that? As his best man, he should told his friend of his intention not to steal his “day of joy” and taking glory.

  6. Jo!

    June 8, 2017 at 7:15 am

    Honestly, I wouldn’t wait and seethe. I might seem like a b**ch in the moment, but I’d call my MC/wedding planner/sister/friend/mother/somebody and tell them to go remind all the vendors whose wedding it is, and who was paying them. The videographer had better not give me an edited video with too many cuts of them in it and he had better keep his darn camera on me.
    The moment the band is done playing their song (because one can’t preempt that), I’ll have the MC take the Mike, congratulate them warmly, then immediately turn the attention back to us. And. Keep. It. There. Do another couples dance and flipping star in the Centre of the stage until everyone remembers whose wedding it was, do the dance with parents, just ensure we’re literally in the Centre of attention till things quiet down.
    And tbh, maybe the hubby should have called his friend at some point during the wedding and say “dude, I’m happy for you and everything but can we enjoy the rest of our wedding now”?
    I don’t know sha.
    But TBVH, I’m not the type to sit and take this kinda crap on top my money, I can legit get bouncers to bounce you

  7. Oma

    June 8, 2017 at 7:28 am

    That’s not good at all…Atleast he should have sought for permission and do it after the wedding or during the wedding party and with the couple’s consent. Nawao

    • Oma

      June 8, 2017 at 7:29 am

      *or

  8. Billionaire in grace

    June 8, 2017 at 7:28 am

    This is not right I am sorry dear.your wedding day should be about the groom and the bride and not some other people.john is soooo rude ??

  9. BlueEyed

    June 8, 2017 at 7:35 am

    You have every plausible reason to be upset and disappointed in that friend. What he did was unacceptable by every standards. The one time that you needed to celebrate yourselves, the bride and groom don’t seem like kids, yal waited for this one time and then one selfish entity decides to ruin it?? My dear, cut off from selfish and inconsiderate friends. I mean he didn’t even think to ask for permission??? I support your husband 100% until his friend pays for half of your ceremony there’s no friendship there. P.S If I was petty I would hire actors to his own wedding and they’ll not only propose and share their baby news (triplets for dramatic effect) on his day, they’ll ask to be married right there with the couple, get a taste of their own medicine.

    • Sherlie Holmes

      June 8, 2017 at 8:20 pm

      I am petty…I would do this. 😐

  10. Ada

    June 8, 2017 at 7:47 am

    So out of the 365 days we have in a year, this fool chose his friends wedding to propose to his gf. Anyone who can steal your shine on your special day is no friend…….

  11. combust

    June 8, 2017 at 7:49 am

    I would have cut him off from the reception #SECURITY!!!!

  12. Bad gang

    June 8, 2017 at 8:08 am

    Unwrtitten code of ethics; don’t draw attention to yourself unless unavoidably necessary at someone’s wedding, birthday, funeral etc
    This guy should be cut loose

  13. Jo!

    June 8, 2017 at 8:17 am

    Honestly, I wouldn’t wait and seethe. I might seem like a b**** in the moment, but I’d call my MC/wedding planner/sister/friend/mother/somebody and tell them to go remind all the vendors whose wedding it is, and who was paying them. The videographer had better not give me an edited video with too many cuts of them in it and he had better keep his darn camera on me.
    The moment the band is done playing their song (because one can’t preempt that), I’ll have the MC take the Mike, congratulate them warmly, then immediately turn the attention back to us. And. Keep. It. There. Do another couples dance and flipping star in the Centre of the stage until everyone remembers whose wedding it was, do the dance with parents, just ensure we’re literally in the Centre of attention till things quiet down.
    And tbh, maybe the hubby should have called his friend at some point during the wedding and say “dude, I’m happy for you and everything but can we enjoy the rest of our wedding now”?
    I don’t know sha.
    But TBVH, I’m not the type to sit and take this kinda crap on top my money, I can legit get bouncers to bounce you

  14. Abigail

    June 8, 2017 at 8:18 am

    THIS IS BULLSH*T. THAT WAS RUDE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT IF HE HAD SPOKEN TO THE COUPLES BEFORE MAKING ANY MOVES AND CUTTING OFF THE CEREMONY AND THE MOMENT… ABSOLUTE WRONG!!!!!!!!

  15. Fabulous

    June 8, 2017 at 8:19 am

    John* is a selfish and an inconsiderate person. Please cut him off ASAP.

  16. Uberhaute looks

    June 8, 2017 at 8:26 am

    There and then all the vendors must do their job ooo…it’s madness if you do that to your best friend on the most important day of his life

  17. ABENA

    June 8, 2017 at 9:23 am

    JOHN IS MAD. HIS GIRLFRIEND TOO IS MAD…

    • coco

      June 14, 2017 at 7:47 pm

      Lmao

  18. Miss Fine

    June 8, 2017 at 9:38 am

    Wrong on all levels. Forgive him but don’t keep him as a friend. Just Hi, hi and move on.

  19. Ottawa Queen

    June 8, 2017 at 9:45 am

    That’s just so wrong. So this bestman actually came prepared with a ring. He surely needed a crowd to witness his proposal. That’s selfish of him.

  20. Prime Babe

    June 8, 2017 at 9:45 am

    Its simple……..You guys start trying to get pregnant immediately- if you can afford it (hopefully you will), then get your hubby to plan a “pre-push” gift (something like a car would do.lol)…then spring every including all the preening and prancing on his own wedding day. ….

    To be serious though, I can feel your pain and you have every right to be upset.

  21. Mz Titilitious

    June 8, 2017 at 10:04 am

    Are u kidding me? so wrong and self centered!

  22. Sean

    June 8, 2017 at 10:04 am

    There is no big deal in what the best man did, except that he didn’t inform the couple of his proposal plan which caught them unaware.

    If he had informed them, especially the bride (We all know women are so freak about their wedding ceremony day, they wouldn’t want anyone to steal their show) and she gave her consent for John to propose to his gf, she wouldn’t feel this way.

    Also, i think the best man went a bit too far by asking the band to play him a special song while both him an his girlfriend had a special dance. That’s too much

    • le coco

      June 8, 2017 at 10:26 am

      I don’t agree with u… but You are cute ?????

    • Bassey *i'm a girl*

      June 8, 2017 at 12:15 pm

      Hi. You’re cute.

    • Bleed Blue

      June 8, 2017 at 1:31 pm

      Sean let me join the family and agree that you are cute.

      Now why will you say “There is no big deal in what the best man did except that he didn’t inform the couple of his proposal plan” and then go on and say “i think the best man went a bit too far by asking the band to play him a special song”…

      Whagwan?

    • MissP

      June 8, 2017 at 3:24 pm

      Reasonable

    • Blossombeautyfinesse

      June 8, 2017 at 4:21 pm

      Remember it’s their day and you don’t know if they invested their life savings for a “blowout” wedding. Totally Rude !!

    • MAYB

      June 8, 2017 at 8:06 pm

      SEAN U CUTE… HOPE U NO BE PHOTOSHOP

    • lala

      June 9, 2017 at 9:39 pm

      The only reason you think there is no big deal in what the bestman did is because you are doing the same thing here now.

  23. mimi

    June 8, 2017 at 10:11 am

    John proposed in the middle of officiating the ceremony? Bloody hell!!!
    I will stop the officiating right there, call security to walk John & his fiancee out & get someone else to continue officiating.
    WTF!!!

  24. No Headaches Please

    June 8, 2017 at 10:30 am

    Errr but that hand up there is uuuugg sha.

    And this stage of my life, I’ve gotten used to being different, embraced it in fact, so let me say this:

    I would be quite happy .

    Almost like my wedding is a catalyst for great things in other people’s lives.
    No matter how much extra attention people pay to the ‘usurpers of your glory’, *cough cough* trust me your guests will never forget the reason why they’re there.

    Ehn but friend, if you plan to do this on my day, let me know before hand, it’s just courtesy yeah?

    One hot cup of coffee to each person reading this comment and ‘squeezing face’ right now.

    I said it was my perspective didn’t I?? ??

    May the odds be with you. ?

    • No Headaches Please

      June 8, 2017 at 12:33 pm

      And please do this at the END, not in the middle for Heaven’s sake!!!

  25. Diamond

    June 8, 2017 at 10:52 am

    They didn’t seek the couple’s permission, and so should not be tolerated. He took me by surprise with the proposal, but I will refuse his request for a special dance and whatever. I can even show him the exit door if he attempts more distractions.

    • Diamond

      June 8, 2017 at 10:56 am

      Mimi is right. I didn’t even read properly that he proposal in the middle of the officiating ceremony. Like seriously? I will stop his proposal and walk them out.

  26. Bennie

    June 8, 2017 at 11:12 am

    In the middle of the officiating ceremony??????? Haba! all those saying no bog deal won’t like it and I can trust Nigerian Families in this kind of situation,
    Even have the guts to request for a special number for him and his gf again! palapala!!!!

  27. Bennie

    June 8, 2017 at 11:12 am

    *big deal*

  28. Udegbunam Chukwudi

    June 8, 2017 at 12:25 pm

    What arrant nonsense! WTF!

  29. June

    June 8, 2017 at 1:01 pm

    Bad friends are the death of good people. Speaking from experience. Get away from John and co.! Leave them in the past and continue with your lives

  30. Gbefun

    June 8, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    The groom could have grown some balls to stop the announcement of his best man’s impending wedding and baby news and remind him of what the best man’s duties were whose day it is.

    #ShameTheBestManopenly

    It shows how confident the groom is, I bet his best man controls his life!

  31. TheTruth

    June 8, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    Bella, start prompting people to put pics up before commenting hehehehe

    • Snazzy

      June 8, 2017 at 6:16 pm

      You can take the lead The truth. Let us see what you look like

  32. Serena's

    June 8, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    @bellanaija, abeg post Serena interviews on black men, i wan read comments

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