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I’d like to encourage other mums in similar situations to stay strong – Toolz on opening up about the Loss of her Baby

BellaNaija.com

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Media personality Toolz Oniru-Demuren is the cover star of the May 2018 issue of Genevieve magazine (click here if you missed it) and in the magazine she’s bravely opening up about how she lost her baby.

Toolz had announced that she was pregnant a year ago in May 2017 and then after a few months her fans noticed that she no longer had a baby bump.

In a courageous decision, which she says she is doing to encourage other mums in similar situations to stay strong, Toolz is sharing her story in Genevieve magazine.

The magazine editor talks about the journey to this cover saying:

“I’m much better now, thanks to God. I did sadly lose my baby but I’m almost there now. I would like to share my story with Genevieve; there’s no one else I would trust with it. Please do let me know your thoughts. Thank you”. She concluded. It was something I had pondered on when she posted a picture of herself without a bump on instagram. I mentally did a calculation to decide if she had birth because we knew there was a bun in the oven. It didn’t seem likely, it wasn’t quite 9 months yet. There was only one conclusion. But I wasn’t about to call her to confirm. Even though she wouldn’t have thought I was intruding. I needed to let her be. Just the same way I wanted to be left alone when it happened to me years ago.

Then one day I got that text from her and we decided to meet up. She was calm on the outside, she did a good job of reigning in her turbulent emotions; but her pain was palpable. I asked her if she was ready to share her story with our readers. She hesitated and then said yes, she would like to encourage other mums in similar situations to stay strong. As expected, she changed her mind about the interview. She wasn’t ready to open up yet. You can’t rush the process! But here we are.

Time, they say heals wounds. Like the strong woman she is, she has picked herself up, especially with an exciting new project ahead of her; the launch of her Sablier plus-size lingerie line. And who best to cater to this niche lingerie market but the curvaceous Radio Princess herself .. Toolz Oniru-Demuren

Get the May 2018 issue here.

27 Comments

  1. B

    May 11, 2018 at 12:38 pm

    Well done Toolz for being brave enough to share your story. Like you I also miscarried about 4 years ago and it was ever so painful as it was a missed miscarriage (I.e I felt and looked pregnant but the baby had stopped growing)

    The good news is God always has a plan and even though it very rarely feels like at the time things seem to go wrong, he knows what’s best. 2 years later, we were blessed with the most beautiful and kind baby girl.

    God bless you and all the women out there who are TTC. I’ll leave you with Habakkuk 2:3

    For the vision is yet for the appointed time. It hurries toward the goal it will not fail. Even though it delays, wait [patiently] for it, Because it will certainly come; it will not delay.

    x

  2. Nkechi

    May 11, 2018 at 2:03 pm

    I lost my baby at 25weeks. My water ruptured at 22weeks and I had placenta preva. I had to undergo an emergency C section, it is a harrowing experience I don’t wish that on anybody. I still grieve. It’s soo painful

  3. Jojo.

    May 11, 2018 at 3:02 pm

    I can relate too. I had a still birth caused by placenta preva. My baby was 27 weeks old. It was the most painful experience I ever had. I thought I was going to die.

  4. Diamond

    May 11, 2018 at 4:02 pm

    Pardon me if I sound insensitive. I find it weird that she decides to open up on her loss when she is launching her lingerie business. Comes off to me like a bad marketing strategy.

    That said, losing a child is painful. I pray she gets all the consolation she needs

    • kemi

      May 11, 2018 at 4:13 pm

      the two don’t flow at all. i feel she is cashing in on her baby loss to launch her lingerie line. anything to make money but definitely not something as serious as losing a baby. i have been there n i know how much it hurts. i wish her all d best though n plenty babies

    • The Real Oma

      May 11, 2018 at 6:18 pm

      @Diamond, I erroneously liked your comment.
      I think what’s insensitive is your insinuation that the two incidents are connected, and a “marketing strategy”
      Human beings are ever so complex and multidimensional and as such have the ability to live two realities that are mutually exclusive.
      Ask yourself, how are these two things connected? What could she possibly gain by using her miscarriage as a marketing strategy for lingerie launch, what is the connection between both?
      Biko let us be kinder in our thoughts, and it’s not everything we think we must put out on the internet. These celebs are human beings and are not immune to pain.

    • Mo

      May 11, 2018 at 10:18 pm

      She really doesn’t owe anyone an explanation to why she’s speaking now and I don’t think is is pardonable for you to be that insensitive. If her story doesn’t speak to you, move along and not drop such comments and ask for pardons.

    • Manny

      May 11, 2018 at 11:07 pm

      Diamond .. or maybe she is just like me. I am a procrastinator and when I do things, I do several things at once. So maybe she has been going through a tough spot, got healed, arose and started making calls. To Genevieve, To her lingerie designer, To everyone – getting several things moving at the same time.
      Reset your thinking ..to the pure all things are pure

    • Wow

      May 12, 2018 at 6:14 am

      Not every (evil) thought that comes to mind should be spoken or written. Her story, her loss and her timing ???

    • Lilo

      May 13, 2018 at 5:56 am

      Don’t mind her. Mschewwwwwe. Sometimes it’s hard to take them seriously . One minute they are cussing out womb watchers on Instagram crying and begging for privacy. The next minute they are sharing gory details of the most private and personal moments just to bring traffic to their brand. Radarada

  5. Jite

    May 11, 2018 at 4:34 pm

    Its well. I know the pain of a miscarriage, miscarried last year , it is d sharpest pain I’ve ever felt in my life, literally felt my baby separate from me. Almost fell into depression, but my family n husband rescued me. And to do those saying she’s using her miscarriage to get sales ,u can see your brains didn’t developed in your head but in your fat toe. How does having a miscarriage make even me that is skinny buy her braline that is specifically for busty women? Please if u can’t understand d lose of pregnancy move on ….

  6. Baybie

    May 11, 2018 at 5:20 pm

    Toolz baby, continue to stay strong. People who have not experienced this kind of pain wont understand it deeply. Wishing you more strength and God’s unexpected blessings.
    More success with Sablier, your future babies will be very proud of their mum. Stay focused.

  7. Different Shades of Nigerian

    May 11, 2018 at 5:23 pm

    I also felt someway about her launching a lingerie brand and telling her loss story at the same time. While my first instinct is to judge, I also know women like to overcompensate. She may have felt she needed to address this before launching her lingerie brand but I think not. Toolz has earned the right to launch a brand without an explanation to anyone about her loss. I wish she kept these events seperate. Talk about the loss of your child when you are ready to encourage others or to launch a support group. Launch your lingerie businesses whenever you want to, because you are a badass boss

  8. cicimeleko

    May 11, 2018 at 5:40 pm

    sigh sigh sigh!!!!!!!
    where are the fab ladies and gents that give nice comments.
    BN whats Happening.
    this is truly sad.
    why oh why are you scarring people AWAY!!!!

  9. Puzzles

    May 11, 2018 at 5:59 pm

    I feel bad for her. Some negative people had accused her of trying to steal Susu and Banky’s day when she showed up at their wedding. Apart from the emotional pain she and her husband must have gone thru, the negative comments she must have heard from people who don’t even know her must have been painful. Stay strong. God will bless you in double.

  10. Chioma

    May 11, 2018 at 6:45 pm

    I totally understand why she is sharing her story right now…she triumphed. She didn’t let the pain of her loss butt her. I know cos I’ve been there. 3 miscarriages, lost 4 babies but it gets better. Today I have the most beautiful baby girl…u gotta hold on, hang in there & never let go of God. He never fails. Congratulations Toolz….God bless u.

  11. Abi

    May 11, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    It’s nice of her to open up.
    I too miscarried last year.
    It was so bad that I felt so ill for three weeks after i miscarried. I had to have an evacuation procedure and for months my period didn’t come. It was at this point after countless scans, google searches and seeing my on/gyn It was confirmed I had uterine scarring also known as Asherman’s Syndrome. I don’t even want to talk about the repercussions of this, cos I don’t want to put it out there into the the universe.
    I need surgery to fix it but I’m too scared to have it done in nigeria because of the complications from my evacuation procedure.
    A lot of women who’ve even have children have Asherman’s and they don’t know it…they just have difficulty conceiving a second child or miscarryinh. Please check with your gynae if you’ve been experiencing this.
    I am hopeful that one day soon I’ll be pregnant and carry a healthy baby to term.
    Just had to get this off my chest cos there’s not many in my life I can talk about this…I have to be strong.

    I am praying for anyone TTC, all the expectant mothers…those searching for life partners…financial abundance…whatever…may all your prayers be answered. From our lips to God’s ears.

    Congrats Toolz on your lingerie line.

    • Tos

      May 11, 2018 at 11:23 pm

      Dear Abi.. I do not know you, but the almighty God does. He will hear your cry today and to every woman looking upto God for this special gifts. Cry of children will be heard in your homes and you will live to see your children’s children IJMN.. Don’t lose faith keep at it IJMN

    • Raving

      May 12, 2018 at 7:55 am

      You can actually get Hyteroscopic Adhesiolysis done here in Nigeria. The Adhesiolysis being different because it will be hyteroscopically (with a tiny camera passed into your womb for the doctors to see what they are doing) done. I did mine in Nigeria although at a time when only a few hospitals could do it hyteroscopically. I have gone on to have two kids since then. You can buzz me if you want to talk. By God’s grace, this too will pass.

    • Abi

      July 6, 2018 at 11:52 am

      Hi I’m soery I’m just seeing your reply.
      Where did you have yours done? Can you please share the hospital and doctor info.
      Thank so so much

    • AyaB

      May 12, 2018 at 11:40 am

      God will comfort and do the impossible for you. He alone wipes away tears permanently. You shall give birth to your own babies in Jesus mame. Amen.

    • Uberhaute Looks

      May 14, 2018 at 12:14 pm

      I also experienced a blighted ovum and up till date, I’ve not gotten over it.
      For those who don’t know, you already had a bond, a pact with the child because as women, we see babies inside the womb as we see the ones outside.
      I am still waiting for the 3 months healing period after miscarriage, I’ve been taking my folic acid religiously and I’m hoping for the best.
      I wish you, Toolz and all women TTc’ing a glorious child. Amen!

    • Physio Tinu

      May 15, 2018 at 7:13 am

      I pray that you get the resources you need to solve this. Have you tried southshore women hospital in Victoria Island Lagos? Heard they are quite good.

  12. Chris

    May 11, 2018 at 7:29 pm

    Wao really painful and not easy to overcome but I trust God to bless u with the one the will bring up all the joy.stay strong

  13. Chynwa

    May 11, 2018 at 7:45 pm

    I beg to differ; re: people saying she’s trying to milk it. What if she just felt she wants to just open up once and move on instead of telling story upandan. but then, even if she is, did you miss the part in her story where she said she worked on Sablier from the hospital bed…it was therapeutic for her. Cheers to Toolz, for opening up and sharing your story(ies) to the world and inspiring us! Kudos!! Luv u long time, God’s got you!!!

  14. Mamamia

    May 13, 2018 at 1:54 am

    Women! We are our own worst enemies.. Tufia! I like that she did both infact love that both came in simultaneously. She went through the loss of a child but was able to birth something dear to her as well both go hand in hand. Toolz, Sablier will go places cause I think this was a cause dedicated to your loss, it is never easy, losing something dear to you but finding a silver lining and channel those feelings makes it better. All the best Toolz…

  15. Mamamia

    May 13, 2018 at 1:55 am

    *channeling

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