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Plane Seat Wahala, Benin-Ore Road as Helipad, Our Robust Response – Here’s What Went Down this Week

BellaNaija Features

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Man, this week has been crazy, hasn’t it? Not a lot went down, but the things that did, blood of God, did they cause fire or what?

Let’s just get to it for those who were perhaps under a rock (or had their phones crashed because of software update) this week (sorry).

Business Class Seat Palava

We were inside our homes and offices, avoiding the rain, when gbege came to meet us inside. Apparently, up in the skies, according to Tonye Cole, some muscle-chested, tattooed Nigerian youth had had the effrontery to ask for his seat from Nobel laureate Wole Soyinka.

What we found most interesting about the whole thing was the divide between the older generation and today’s youths. While the older ones on blogs and social media and WhatsApp insisted that the Nigerian youth should have given up his seat for Wole Soyinka, younger people said the line between wrong and right is clear, and the young man wasn’t wrong. It was his seat.

One particular thing we’d like to put to rest is that argument about how you’re supposed to give up your seat for old people and pregnant women and disabled folks. See, dear people. That’s only relevant in cases where you see them standing. Where they are inconvenienced. Wole Soyinka wasn’t asked to hold pole. If we both have a seat, seats assigned to us, then, plis dear, go to your seat. Thainz.

Federal Road as a Helipad

See, if you’re rich you’re rich. At least, that’s what the people are saying about this helicopter landing on Benin/Ore Road.

The story that trended was that a rich man got tired of being stuck in traffic like the rest of us. So what did he do? He called to have a chopper come pick him up. Boss!

Another theory even said the chopper picked up a billionaire’s girlfriend. Even bossier!

However, in a report by BBC, it was revealed that the the chopper actually was there to pick up a stroke victim. That’s what the chopper services people said. But, as that version is not sweet, no one is paying it any attention.

Yay for Gender Equality in Nigeria as NFF Owes both Super Falcons & Eagles

But that’s where the equality ended sha. Because, after NFF denied owing Super Falcons money, they later revealed that although the Federal Government has released money to them, they can only pay the Super Eagles.

Wait. Did we say the Super Falcons and the Eagles had a sit in, the former refusing to leave their hotel after crashing out of the World Cup, and the latter refusing to train for their Nations Cup match? Anyway. There. you now know.

What did the people have to say?

 

#KimOhNo

Kim Kardashian is no stranger to controversies; but this one, this one might just take the cake.

Kim came up with her own line of shape wear (a bit unimaginative line, if you ask us, considering how it just lifts off what a few people are already doing, including her husband. But you didn’t ask us, did you?) and decided to name is Kimono. Which is where the gbege is.

As you probably know, Kimono, of Japanese origin, is that loose robe with big sleeves and a sash. People have criticized Mrs. West for appropriating Japanese culture, especially for trademarking the name, and using it for underwear.

Kim has defended herself, saying she deeply respects the Japanese culture. Still, the criticisms pour in. #KimOhNo

We Finally Get a Robust Response

It took us six years and how many sexual assault/harassment/rape allegations to get here. Praise Jah!

We woke up Friday to see the babanla of allegations. It quickly clarified Timi Dakolo‘s annual May accusations. His wife, the photographer Busola Dakolo, in an interview with Chude Jideonwo, revealed that she was allegedly sexually abused by the Commonwealth of Zion Assembly (COZA)’s Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo.

After his flock asked that he address this allegation (he’s never addressed any before), the “Global Senior Pastor” somehow brought his church into it and said they’d be suing any and everyone who has accused (and will accuse) him of rape. He had never raped anyone before, he said, not even when he was an “unbeliever.”

In all of this, one thing we can’t get out of our heads is the implication, what it means, when he’s preaching in church and his congregants tell him “ride on, Pastor.” 🌚

And that’s all for this week! If we missed anything, please, let it rip in the comment section. Enjoy your weekend!

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